#this is another set of clippings that i didn't clip myself

[hotwaterandmilk]

Series: Cutey Honey Flash Artist: Iisaka Yukako Publication: Ciao Magazine (04/1997) Source: Scanned from my personal collection

[biscuitsandwires]

In which Danny wakes up in a weird place.... again.

The thing about Danny, is that he often wakes up in really, really weird situations. Like way more than you'd think, way more than he'd even like, really. He doesn't get that much sleep, being y'know, half ghost, and with school work and having to fight "The Forces of Evil" half the time it gets kind of... tedious, balancing things like sleep and eating and even getting water in him.

It's not really a good thing, but he started carrying around a water bottle he can clip to his bag. It reminds him to at least drink something, when he doesn't have time to grab anything to eat.

But because of all that fun stuff, the not sleeping and not eating and things, he often finds himself taking... unplanned naps. Waking up on the floor, his bed, his desk, one time even in his locker, but that was before his growth spurt. He's a little too big for that now.

Of course, this might take the cake, in terms of weird places he's woken up. He's never been to Gotham, that he remembers, and he certainly has never been to the Wayne Manor. He'd remember that, he thinks, what with the grand architecture, the giant paintings of random people with pearl necklaces and suits... yeah he'd know if he'd been here before.

"Ah, you are awake."

He tries really, really hard not to react to the sudden, aged voice next to him. It sounds like a nice guy, mature and soft like a wool blanket. But he has no idea where he is, when it is, anything, so in one second he's still on the big bed (which it is a BIG bed) and the next he's... well.

Floating ten feet in the air with his fist raised.

To his credit, the older gentleman staring up at him merely blinks, then sighs. "Another enhanced fellow, I suppose. Of course you are."

It's enough to lower Danny's hackles, his confusion growing the amount of time it takes to slowly float back to the floor.

"Can I uh... Can I ask where I am?"

The older man gives him a look. "You, young man, are in the Wayne family home. I'll ask you not to touch anything until the young Master gets back."

That... didn't really clear anything up, if Danny was being real. So he tried again. "Can I ask, uh. Why I'm here, sir?"

Mama didn't raise a ruffian with no manners.

Another sigh, the older man looking like he wanted to go take a nap himself. "I am not fully sure, myself. Young Master Damian found you, I suppose, and brought you here. You have been unconscious for a day or so."

Well. That was concerning all on it's own. Who was Damian? Was he a Wayne? Why was Danny in Gotham at all, he didn't remember a field trip or anything involving Vlad.

He might have started panicking if there wasn't the sudden, entirely too enticing smell of pancakes suddenly under his nose.

"You're entirely too skinny, young man. It's breakfast time." The older gentleman said, holding a tray of wayyy too much food for one person in front of Danny, and really...

What was he gonna do? Deny the man?

He would have to figure out what the hell was going on, later. Right now he had a date with the nicest looking spread he'd ever seen.

"And young man, you may call me Alfred."

Danny grinned, gently taking the tray from him and setting it on a nearby table. "Danny. It's good to meet you."

"Hmm." Alfred mumbled. "I certainly hope so, Master Danny. I certainly hope so."

(pt 2 here)

[colleendoran]

How Do I Do Stuff

The question was phrased a little strangely, and I don't want to embarrass the person by posting exactly what was said, but I'll answer it and hope this clears everything up.

I do almost all of my drawing by hand. No, I don't trace in Photoshop. Not a judgment on those who do, but I come from a generation of artists who did not use Poser programs or other digital tools. We learned to draw using a technique called the Sight Size method. I know a lot of people assume everyone - including the old masters - traced everything using optical tools, but while it is true some people did, it is just as true that most didn't, and you can draw with great accuracy if you learned how to draw the old fashioned way.

Sight Size breaks everything down into its barest components of geometric shapes and you build from there. Once you learn it, you never forget, and it applies to everything you will ever draw.

I learned it using a set of Famous Artist Course books my mom had since she was a kid, and they are still the gold standard. They're often on ebay. If I were you, I'd buy them.

I actually find using figure reference really annoying because I like exaggerations and modifications from reality in my final work.

This page from Neil Gaiman's Chivalry was drawn and painted without figure reference of any kind.

I don't know why people assume I trace all the time. If you were to try to use photographs to replicate these figures, you would find they are slightly off. There is no tracing here.

This is not to say I never use reference. This page, for example, was referenced from a photo of my mother. Isn't she pretty.

But this page of Sir Galaad was drawn and painted without reference.

He's pretty, too.

If he were real, I'm sure a lot of people would be very happy about it. But he's not. And had I reference, the art would have gone a lot faster. I had a time trying to nail this face that is very alive in my head but doesn't really exist.

Back in the ancient days, all cartoonists had to learn to draw and paint extemporaneously because reference was limited and digital tools didn't exist. While some high end artists had photography studios and professional models with costume and sets on hand, small fry like me were limited to what was in the house or available at my small local library, which was no bigger than a few rooms of my current house.

Artists kept extensive "morgue files" or "swipe files" which were collected from magazine clippings and photographs so we would have as much of what we might need on hand for quick reference. These ephemera collections could get unwieldy. I have thousands of photographs I've simply never sorted. I finally dumped most of my files this past year.

Have I ever traced anything? Of course, especially if I have to re-use a shot or setting over and over. Making extra work for myself is just silly. It's my job to make pictures, not to perform magical feats, like copying one shot after another over and over without making a mistake.

However, for almost 15 years of my career, I refused to copy or trace anything, and did not even own a lightbox. On the one hand, that forced me to learn to carefully examine what I saw. On the other hand, it was a stupid hill on which many deadlines died.

Only after I realized many professional artists had lightboxes and overhead projectors did I finally break down and get one.

The one thing I use my lightbox for more than anything is for tracing my thumbnail sketches to the final drawing paper. Instead of trying to capture the liveliness of the original sketch by copying what I see - only bigger - I blow the thumbnail up to the size I want the final art to be, then I trace over the thumbnail using a lightbox onto the final drawing paper.

Here's a look at thumbnails from the graphic novel Neil Gaiman's Snow, Glass, Apples.

I enlarged these on my computer to fit onto 11"x14" paper, and traced the thumbs before finishing the art which was drawn in pen and ink and colored in Photoshop.

While I obviously made some changes, the essence of the thumbs is there in the final work. Tracing my thumbs retains some of the looseness of the original sketches, which is often lost otherwise.

So, there is a valid purpose to tracing at times, though in my opinion, too much tracing can weaken drawing ability, substitute for developing skills, and make the work kind of stiff.

If you want to, I'm not your judge. But it's weird to me that people think I must be faking my skills in some way.

Ironically, the word cartoon comes from the Italian word cartone, which is a large heavy sheet of paper - also, the origin of the word carton.

Preparatory sketches were made on this paper which was then transferred to the final work surface via either tracing or by stamping little holes in the paper through which dust was sprinkled, recreating the contours of the drawing for the artist to follow.

So the origin of the word cartoon comes from a process often used...for tracing.

[decentwritings]

Chapter 3

Summary: You’re unable to grasp the luck you have. You were raised to run from danger, to go the opposite direction of bad influences. So when you somehow find yourself right in the center of it, you discover that running wasn’t exactly what you were taught. It only took GhostFace and a pretty girl to remember that.

previous part <- -> next part

You manage to sneak off when the group disperses, jogging to your dorm to grab your shower essentials. The shower is long and refreshing, and super soapy because you believe you couldn't get rid of the horrible smell.

Once showered, you get dressed in some of your most comfortable clothes and lay back on your bed. You hope to catch a few hours of sleep before anyone realizes you're gone.

You shut your eyes, and it only feels like a second before you open them again. The sun is still up, and you roll over to check the time, groaning at the one hour of sleep. You decide it isn't enough, because it's not, and you roll back over, attempting another round of sleep.

Again, you aren't sure how long it's been when you open your eyes, and the sun is still up, though you can see its need to end the day as it sets slowly. You wake up this time because of a noise somewhere in the room. You rub the sleep from your eyes, sitting up slowly, scanning the room.

If it's GhostFace, could he at least give you the courtesy of killing you in your sleep? The urge to lie back down is heavy, but you fight it, figuring the group should see your presence at least once more today.

You take your phone off its charger and open your drawer full of junk. Your sister gave you pepper spray before your first day at Blackmore—nearly seven months ago. It's expired. But you're not sure if it's illegal to use expired pepper spray, so you pocket it anyway. You also grab the utility knife you took from your brother's pack-out gear when you helped him with a job one day. He had like ten, so you were sure he wouldn't miss one.

The knife is still sharp and has a little shine to it. You clip it to your waistband, then shut the drawer. With a sigh, you mentally prepare yourself for the day and head out of your dorm.

The halls are eerily empty, but you figure it must be exam day for most of the students. You don't bother questioning it anymore, walking down the hall as you catch up on the notifications on your phone.

Three messages from your mom, informing you of her day and one asking about yours. The last message is to call her when you get free time. You have another message from your sister, who gives you instructions on how to give your nephews (her dogs) their medication. Then you check the messages Danny has left you, which are way more than he usually sends.

Where are you?

Sam said you left

Answer your phone

If you don't call in the next hour and you're not dead, I'll kill you myself

Your cousin says the nicest things. You roll your eyes and click the phone button to call him. The phone doesn't even ring, and you hear Danny's voice instantly.

"Where are you?" He shouts over the phone and you have to pull the phone away from your ear from how loud he is.

"Good morning to you, too, dear cousin," you respond with an eye roll, exiting the dormitory. You shield your eyes from the sun, preparing yourself for a long walk to your car.

"Morning? It's nearly six o'clock," Danny informs you, and you glance at the clock on your phone. You hum, surprised; he's right. "Where the hell have you been? I called you five times."

You run across the street, avoiding cars coming down the road. You ignore a honk from one of them, raising a peace sign at the driver before walking off.

"Dude, I didn't sleep last night," you say, reminding the man with a huff. "I don't sleep, I get cranky. And me cranky is basically GhostFace without a mask," you shake your head.

The line is silent for a long minute, you check to make sure he's still on the line.

"That's not funny," Danny says eventually.

You shrug. "I wasn't trying to be," you mutter, glancing at the strangers waiting for the light to change beside you.

The whole being suspicious of everyone is becoming second nature really quickly. You just hope it doesn't turn into paranoia.

"Look, I'm heading over to pick up my car and then going to your place," you inform him, finally able to cross the street. You pass by a bodega and are really tempted to go in and get yourself a sandwich. With self control, you don't and continue your walk. "Relax. Tell your girlfriend to calm her–"

"Don't finish that sentence," Danny interrupts, voice firm.

You raise your hands in surrender, passing an alley after peeking in it for anything lurking. It's broad daylight but you never know, right?

Danny orders you to stay on the phone with him until you're at your car. You ramble about random things, and you can tell he's not listening with the constant "mmm-hmms" he gives you. You don't mind, finding it endearing of his worry for you.

You gasp at the sight of your car, finally earning his full attention.

"What?" Danny shouts, worried.

You practically skip over to your car, unlocking it as you do. "My baby," you sniffle, close to tears. "She's okay," you whisper, relieved.

The line goes silent again.

"You're an idiot."

You shrug, hopping into the driver's seat. You check in the back for any GhostFaces. When it's empty, you turn back and turn your car on.

"Alright," you rub your hands together, excited. "I'm heading to your place. Do I need to pick up snacks or something?"

"No. It's not some party," Danny sighs, and you can imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just go to Sam's, stay there. Don't leave. Understand?"

You nod, then pause. "Wait, I have a class at seven-thirty," you tell him and hear him sigh again. "Does that mean I won't be able to go?"

"Go to my apartment," he says, "Now." He demands, annoyed.

You raise your hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. Geez," you mutter. "Excuse me for worrying about my college education."

Danny tells you his shift ends in a couple of hours, to not embarrass yourself while with the Carpenters and their friends. You reassure him you will be nothing but a perfect guest. He doesn't comment on it and says his goodbye.

When you're at the red light, you catch a glimpse of someone in the corner of your eye. You recognize the boy as he heads down an alley, glancing at his surroundings. But this isn't the way you were; the way you were checking no one was following you. No. He was glancing around to make sure no one was watching him.

You forget for a moment you're driving, until you hear a honk behind you. You glare at the driver through your rearview mirror then look back, searching for Ethan. He's disappeared and you can't figure out how he vanished that quickly.

You shake it off, not wanting to jump to conclusions. Mindy offered a great possibility for the boy and you didn't believe it because...well, he is the shy and dorky roommate of Chad's. Which makes it the perfect cover.

Damn, Mindy's theories are contagious.

You find a great parking spot just a block over from your cousin's apartment building. You triple check to make sure your car is locked then head over to the building. The sun was beginning to set behind you and you begin to believe this day may end without any incidents.

After situating yourself at Danny's place, you go across the hall and knock on the Carpenter's door.

You see an eye through the peephole. You raise a brow. "If I were GhostFace, why would I knock?" You question, confused.

The door takes a while to open, you assume because of all the locks you hear needing to be unlocked.

Mindy appears behind the door a minute later. "Wow, you really have never seen a horror movie," she says, allowing you entry to the apartment. "A fake knock is horror movie 101."

You shake your head then shrug. "I don't see the appeal," you explain, greeting everyone briefly with a head nod. Tara offers you a smile and you can't control the smile that you return. "If I wanted to get scared, I'll just go to my sister's early in the morning. You wanna see horror? You should see her without makeup," you shiver at the thought.

Sam exits the kitchen, and you think; you think, you see her sigh in relief.

"Good, you're here," Sam says, and points a thumb over her shoulder. "We have pizza."

You nod, then pause when you hear noise occurring behind a closed door. You stare at the door then back at the group of friends. They don't seem at all fazed.

"So my knocking was concerning, but that isn't?" You question as you point at the closed door.

"Oh, that's Quinn," Chad explains, waving his hand dismissively. He enters the kitchen, leaving you with still no understanding.

Tara laughs at your expression, waving you over to join them. You notice Anika comfortable position on the couch, but don't question it. You follow Tara into the kitchen, taking a seat at the end of the table.

"She's...sex positive," Tara explains further. "She has a guy over almost every night."

You lean back to look at the closed door. The sounds practically echo throughout the apartment. You struggle to drown it out, but you try your best to as you return your attention to the table.

You do a double take, noticing a missing person. "Where's Ethan?"

"He's got a class," Chad answers, probably knowing his roommate's schedule.

You have to bite your tongue, wanting to tell them you do too but you decided not to go. Well, Danny basically told you not to go but you didn't plan on going anyway. You hated your Visual Literacy class with a passion.

"Eat," Tara slides the pizza box towards you.

You thank her, grabbing a slice. As you chew, you hear Chad scoot his chair closer to you.

"So, Y/N, right?" You nod, mouth still full. He smile then glances at Tara briefly. You aren't sure what that was about but don't question. "Tell us about yourself. For starters, why English?"

You swallow the food in your mouth. "Umm," you see the others staring at you, awaiting your response. "Well, I just need a degree. It's looking like you can't get a decent, well-paying job without a bachelor's so..." you shrug.

Chad hums. "Valid point," he comments. "Any hobbies? Do you play any sports? Do you even like sports? Ooh, do you like videos games?" He asks excitedly.

After swallowing again, you nod. "Yes, yes, yes and yes," you answer, unsure if he expected more than just the one word. And when he blinks, waiting for you to continue, you assume he does. "My current hobby is just fixing up my dad's old Toyota Chaser, still debating whether to sell it when I'm done or not."

"You're fixing a car?" Mindy leans over to ask, eyes squinting in confusion.

You chuckle and nod. "Yeah. My dad was a mechanic, so he taught me how to fix the basics," you shrug, taking another bite of your pizza. "Then I got tired of the basics, so we ended up learning how to add mods to cars. I just sold my old Subaru WRX—the most mods I've ever done on a car. She came out—" you let out a wolf whistle.

"Then why did you sell it?" Tara asks, the question clearly on everyone's mind.

You suddenly lose your appetite and set the rest of your pizza down on a napkin. Clearing your throat, you shrug. "Needed the cash. Where's your bathroom?" you ask, standing up to avoid more questions.

Sam furrows her brows. "Second door on your right," she answers gently.

You give two thumbs up and head in that direction. Once you're out of earshot, Chad looks at the group.

"Nice job, Tara," he says, shaking his head with a scoff. "You scared your crush."

Tara narrows her eyes at him. "It's not a crush."

"She'd have to actually interact with them for it to be anything," Mindy huffs, only to get a kick under the table. She winces and rubs her leg with a frown. "I'm just saying, you practically begged Anika to invite them to the party and you didn't even give them the time of day."

"At least we know you two have the same type," Chad quips, pointing between Mindy and Tara as he grabs another slice. Mindy giggles at his remark, the sisters' reactions more amusing than expected.

Tara hides her face in her hands, feeling heat rise to her cheeks.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, you're struggling to recompose yourself. Lately, you haven't had time to process what happened almost a month ago. The past couple of hours have been a rush of emotions, full of firsts and new friendships. You splash cold water on your face, staring at your reflection in the mirror. Tara's question about your car stirred up feelings you've tried to suppress, forcing you to confront something you've been avoiding. Your sister has been handling it better–sort of, taking her anniversary vacation a month early, while your brother picked up a huge job building a mansion for some millionaire in California. All of you have escaped your hometown—except your mother, who stayed behind, clinging to some connection to your father.

You take a deep breath, trying to push the thoughts away before anyone notices how long you've been in the bathroom.

You feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and pull it out to see a message from Danny. He's letting you know he's leaving work and expects to arrive in about twenty minutes. He mentions wanting to grab something to eat before heading home. You reply, reassuring him that you're with the Carpenters and to be careful, before slipping the phone back into your pocket and exiting the bathroom.

Anika waves at you from the couch, but her smile falters when she sees your expression. "You alright?" she asks, patting the spot next to her.

You sit down beside her with a sigh, your eyes flicking toward the muted TV. The news is on, and it strikes you that this is the first time in years you've actually paid attention to a newscaster. "It's been a crazy couple of hours," you say with a shrug. "I also think this is the longest I've been outside the dorm in a while. Feels weird. Is New York always this packed?" you ask, adding a hint of playfulness to steer her away from worrying.

Anika shoots you a knowing look but doesn't push. You can tell she plans to ask later—and you know you'll have to face it then.

Your attention is suddenly drawn to Quinn's room. Her screams grow louder, more intense than before. You share a glance with Anika, and without exchanging words, you both know what the other is thinking. But neither of you says anything, turning your attention back to the TV, both silently choosing to stay quiet for now.

The TV is muted, but you find yourself reading the captions to keep your mind busy. Then, your phone vibrates again. This time, Danny's calling. You excuse yourself and stand to answer.

Before you can say anything, he shouts, "Get out, quick!" You pull the phone away from your ear, startled by his volume. "He's in the apartment! Tell Sam—"

A sudden, heavy thump against the apartment door makes you freeze. Instinctively, you turn toward the sound as the others rush out to join you. Another thud shakes the door, rattling the locks and hinges with each blow.

The door rattles violently, each strike louder than the last. You freeze for a second, unsure of where to move first, before Sam takes charge. You want to hide, run but you're frozen where you stand.

"Everyone get back!" she commands, pulling you behind her. Her eyes dart to the nearest weapons—a lamp, a chair—anything within reach. Tara's fingers curl around your arm, tugging you back toward the windows.

The door splinters as the locks give way, and a large figure forces his way into the apartment. Your heart pounds in your chest as Sam rushes forward, grabbing the nearest heavy object—a bat leaning against the wall—and swings without hesitation. Your hand itches to reach for the knife on your waist but you think its just a pin compared to the knife GhostFace has.

You're suddenly aware of the grip on your arm, and its Tara's, who's staring at her sister in worry. It was obvious to you that Sam took the big sister role seriously, but to see how serious she takes it makes you summon that bravado from hours ago. You thought it was all used up but apparently its still there.

You grab your knife and flick it open, rushing forward to help Sam. The adrenaline surges through your veins, pushing you forward. Sam swings the bat again, but the intruder anticipates it this time, blocking it with his forearm before shoving her back.

Sam shoves you hard, her voice full of urgency. "Run!"

Your instinct is to stay and fight, but Tara's grip on your arm tightens as she yanks you backward. Before you can argue or even think, Chad's hand locks around Tara's wrist, dragging both of you toward the hallway.

The echo of Anika's scream cuts through the chaos, freezing your blood. You whip around, heart pounding in your chest. They aren't behind you.

Without thinking, you come to a dead stop, yanking your arm free from Tara's grip.

"Y/N, wait!" Tara's voice is frantic, but you're already sprinting back up the stairs, adrenaline pumping through your veins, faster than you thought possible. Your legs burn, but you don't stop.

You hear Tara calling your name, but it's drowned out by the roar in your ears. Reaching the apartment again, you jump over the broken door, breathing hard, and your eyes dart around. The first room you burst into freezes you in your tracks.

Quinn is there. She lies motionless, her body lifeless, and the sight makes your stomach churn. Your mind screams at you to stop, but it only pushes you forward. You force your gaze away, barreling through the hallway.

You spot GhostFace pushing against a bedroom door. Sam and the others have to be on the other side.

Instinct kicks in.

Your eyes land on a chair near the wall, and without hesitation, you grab it. Charging forward, you swing with everything you have. The impact sends GhostFace stumbling back, crashing to the ground. His knife skitters across the floor, spinning out of reach.

GhostFace stumbles, trying to regain his footing, and you seize the chance. You dive for his knife, fingers just brushing the handle when he yanks at your ankle, pulling you down hard. You crash to the floor in front of him, and as he swings his fist, you barely manage to block it with your arm.

"Shy and dorky, my ass," you mutter through gritted teeth, seeing the surprise in his eyes through the mask.

He freezes for a moment, just enough for you to shove him off and scramble to your feet. Your body aches from the fall, but adrenaline pushes you on. Your eyes dart toward the window, and you see Danny rushing Sam and an injured Mindy into his apartment. His gaze locks with yours, filled with a plea—run.

But you can't. Not now. Not when everything you've suspected has just been confirmed.

GhostFace, however, isn't done. While you were distracted, he regains his knife, standing with that signature menacing tilt of his head, glaring down at you.

You throw your hands up in frustration. "What? I don't know what follows!" you shout, exasperated.

He doesn't respond—not verbally, at least. Instead, he lunges, slashing at you with his knife. You dodge one strike, but the second is too quick. The blade slices through your abdomen, sending a wave of pain shooting through you.

You let out a sharp breath, staggering back and clutching your wound, teeth clenched as blood seeps between your fingers. The pain is intense, but you force yourself to stay upright, glaring back at him with defiance despite the throbbing ache.

You hate to admit it, but you're glad your brother got you into anime.

"Come on, Ethan," you taunt, shifting your weight cautiously to the left as he mirrors your movements to the right. "End this now. Take the mask off."

Either he's stubborn or you're wrong, because instead of revealing himself, he lunges again, knife sparkling in the dim light. You try to evade the slashes, but your patience runs thin, and it makes you sloppy. As you attempt to block the knife from reaching your chest, it lodges into the palm of your hand instead. A scream rips from your throat, raw and uncontrollable, as pain radiates through your body.

He twists the blade, and you whimper, barely keeping your feet. The world around you blurs as adrenaline and pain mix, but then you hear it—a shout from down the hall.

"Police!"

You want to call out to the officer, to warn him, but your voice fails you. Instead, summoning every ounce of strength left in you, you push him away. He stumbles back, momentarily off balance, and when he regains his composure, you catch a glimpse of what you think is a glare beneath the mask.

In a surprising move, he dashes past you, and just as the realization hits, you feel your legs buckle. Darkness creeps in, and your vision fades as you collapse, everything going quiet.

[ms-demeanor]

So when I've left adequate distance between myself and another car, especially a semi, I have the chronic problem of people pulling in front of me, and either staying there or as a point on their way to a Jersey lane change. I'm not a fan of it. Is there anything I can do? Other than leave even more distance so I don't have to brake when they do it?

Relax and leave more distance. The car that pulls in front of you is now your new set-point. If a ton of people are pulling in front of you when you're leaving distance that you feel comfortable with, get in a slower lane.

One of the fun side effects of this technique is that when a lot of people do it, traffic improves and you get fewer people diving in front of you at high speeds. Part of the reason i yell about this on the internet with some amount of regularity is that I very selfishly want more people to drive like this because it makes traffic less shit.

But yeah if you're in heavy traffic and leaving a lot of space and people are moving in front of you, fuck it, getting closer to them isn't going to make anything faster. If you're in light traffic and moving at a good clip and people are moving in front of you then it should be very little effort (just taking your foot off the gas for a few seconds) to adjust to new cars in front of you.

I won't always adjust speeds if a car is moving more than one lane at a time. Sometimes people forget that their exit is coming up; leaving sufficient following distance means that there is more room generally for more people to make safe lane changes or get to an exit they didn't realize was coming up. Someone briefly passing into your following distance at regular highway speeds as they move into the next lane should have very little impact on your driving unless they have to slam on their brakes to get into the lane next to you, in which case they're kind of making a dick move but that kind of dick move would happen less if people were better drivers so provide an example of being a better driver.

[sugawhaaa]

Keeho x reader

☆~"Cutie"~☆

☆pairing::dom!keeho x sub!fem!reader

☆warnings::smut

☆genre::shower sex, fingering, oral

A/N:: It's 1am and I'm just starting this 😍

That's a quote from me from like 3 weeks ago when I started this 🤠I've been working on this fanfic for wayyyyyy too long bro 💀

Keeho loves experimenting with your body. He loves to just feel up every inch of your body with his hands, tongue, lips, even a vibrator just to see what makes you cum the most. Though he has found many of your turn ons he's also found a lot of your personal dislikes. Very specific taste he must admit.

But today was a new day and a new moment for Keeho to give you some attention had arrived.

You laid in bed scrolling through your phone while your boyfriend was in the shower. You heard him turn off the water from next door and assumed that he was now drying off, soon coming to see you again. The door to your room opened and there was keeho, shirtless with a towel around his neck and wet hair. You soaked in the sight before he moved to get some clothes on.

He threw on a black hoodie and kept his shorts on. You watched him closely from the corner of your eye when suddenly he approached you. He crawled up on the bed in front of your legs and looked up at you. You gave him a questioning look. "What?" You said as you set your phone down.

"Oh nothing," he hummed with a light smile. You gave him another confused look before he got up and went to his desk. You let him be and decided to play some games on your phone. About 30 minutes passed when he suddenly took off his headphones and turned to you. "Wanna try something?"

You looked at him confused "try what exactly?" He didn't reply but instead stood up and looked as though he was waiting for you to stand up with him. You stood up and he grabbed your hand as he led you to the bathroom.

He stopped in front of you and let go of your hand. You looked at him confused before he pulled off his sweater. "W-what are you doing?" You said as you took a step back. He then approached you. He shut the door before pinning you against it, his left hand on the light switch, the other at your arm. Keeho leaned in and his lips grazed over yours.

"Trying something new~" he replied before he kissed your lips and he slowly dimmed the lights down. Your hands roamed around his tan, toned skin as his lips lapped at yours. Light, muffled groans escaping both of your throats. The lights just bright enough to glow up Keeho's face as you took a moment to breathe and appreciate his beauty.

While you were admiring him he bent down and took of his shorts too. You tried not stare at him too much but your nasty little mind couldn't help it. He then encouraged you to undress too, which you did but when you took off your shirt Keeho came closer to you. He wrapped his arms around your torso and found the clip of your bra.

"Keeho what are you doing?" You said with your hands in the air as you held your shirt.

"Trying to get this stupid bra off of you." He said angrily as he messily unbuckled it.

"Sexy yet still funny," you smiled before he went to go take your shorts off.

"Y-You know I can do this myself, right?" You laughed awkwardly as he did the simplest task for you.

"Yeah but it's more fun like this and I know it turns you on when I do it," he smirked. Damn he really does know his shit about you. You refused to reply and instead you just looked away with pink cheeks. He then stayed squatted down to the floor as you took your legs out of your shorts and undies. Keeho looked up at you with complete lustful admiration, his eyes just begging to break you with pleasure. He then gently grabbed your hips and placed his soft lips on your already soaking clit.

Sparks sent up your body at the simple touch of his tongue against your sensitivity. You bit your lip harshly as he skillfully pleased your core, just waiting for you to cum on his face. You tried to hold your legs open for him to easily access you but you couldn't keep yourself together. Your legs just drawn to each other like magnets as his tongue swirled slowly around your entrance and clit.

He suddenly stopped before getting up, making you frustrated. "Wanna get in the shower now?" He said with a slight seductive tone and a quick smirk. You nodded and with that you both got in the shower. Keeho turned on the water before kissing you with all the tongue he had in him.

Lewd sounds echoed throughout the bathroom as your tongues collided simultaneously. The small space forcing your nude bodies closer to each other. "I want you so bad," you croaked out between heated kisses.

"I'm right here baby," Keeho said in his deep raspy voice as he looked at you with admiration. His face only centimeters from yours. You started mindlessly grinding against his leg in hopes of some relief but the water soaked up most of the pleasure. There was no friction it was like you were just sliding around on his wet leg.

You then started begging for his fingers and he caved in, but he couldn't follow your command without a little teasing. He played with your clit for a while to quote on quote "warm you up to his touch" yet you had already been all up on him for the past 20 minutes at least. His fingers then slid down your folds before satisfyingly entering you fully. His touch had you seeing stars and feeling sparks.

You couldn't help but moan out his name yet you were only on one finger so far. As the trickling of the water stimulated your skin keehos nimble and soaked fingers stimulated your insides. Distorted sounds escaped your throat as you started feeling more and more tense. At this point keeho had two fingers slowly curling in and out of you as your walls hugged them tight.

"Please I'm gonna cum~" you whined out as Keeho started thrusting his fingers faster. Your body jerked everytime he hit that sweet spot with more and more intensity every time. You then finally released. Your head swung back and eyes shut tight as the knot in your stomach poured out into the water of your shower.

Then keeho went down on his knees and started licking you up like his life depended on it. You slapped your palm over your lips to muffle the moans. "K-keeho what are you doing?" You stuttered out as he lathered at your juices.

"Getting all your flavor before it goes down the drain," he explained before getting back to his tongue work. Since you were already so sensitive due to just cumming and the hot water on your skin you felt a knot building in your stomach rather fast. As Keeho gripped onto your thigh harshly you warned him of your condition as your legs started quivering.

"Two times in a row-" Keeho murmured. "Such a good little girl~" he cooed before you cam on his lips. Blush covered your face after cumming for the second time in a row while keeho was just eating you up. Keeho kept praising you over and over as he drank all your load. "So good, you always taste so freaking good," he said as he held your hips like the ring of a bowl. You blushed at his comments and when he was finished eating you out he wasn't done.

"You did so good baby," he said he hugged you tightly. "Now, let's get this hair washed shall we?"

[hiskillingjar]

Could we get strade taunting MC that, after months or more of being locked up by him already, he knows no one is searching for them and barely anything was done about them being missing (maybe MC was angry and tried to bluff about it?)

Bonus: Strade comparing MC to Ren, how big of a loser both are (albeit maybe in different ways), how easy they were to fool and catch, like lost puppies waiting for the love no one gave them in the cold world out there. Now all his to do with what he wants.

Compared to being alone and having no one waiting for you it suddenly doesn't seem so bad, right?

these prompts got away from me. i'm only a human being give me a breakkkkk

3800+ words, i want two boyfriends and i want the boyfriends to be boyfriends, and i want them to kiss open-mouthed and dry hump and then they kiss me and we're dry-humping...and we're all boyfriends and girlfriends.

"What are we up to tonight, then?"

You flinched as Strade sat down next to you, a beer bottle in hand, pulling his phone out of his trouser pocket and swiping through it the second that he was comfortable.

It had been a few months since your initial capture, and even if you were struggling to settle into the imposed routine that had been forced on you, one had been set up all the same.

Wake up. Try not to die. Go to sleep

You were surviving, the best you could, and you were alive...that's all that mattered.

"Ah, not in a talking mood, are we?" Strade asked, after a period of silence. "Well, that's not unusual from you, is it? I'm sure you're feeling a bit out of sorts." He took a swig from his beer and smacked his lips in an obnoxious way that got your skin prickling. "But, hey, that's okay! I'm here to chat whenever you're ready. And if not, I guess I'll just have to entertain myself, hm?"

"Mmhmm," You murmured a non-answer, bringing your knees up to your chest and resting your chin on top of them as you kept your eyes on the television. 

"I think they're just feeling a little..." Ren started, looking up from where he was sitting on the ground, his legs crossed, his tail curled up like a stuffie in his lap, looking much younger than you despite only being a few months your junior. "Um, we just watched the news, is all. Doesn't create the best of moods."

"And what's so interesting about the news?" Strade raised a brow with a wry tilt of his head.

"Mm," Ren bit his lip, looking a little guilty as he looked away. "Um...well..."

"I'm waiting to see my missing person report," You said curtly, cutting Ren off before he had the chance to explain what the two of you were doing. 

"...Missing person report, huh?" Strade repeated, glancing curiously at you before he flashed you a devious smirk. "And I'm guessing...it hasn’t shown up, has it? That's why you're quiet?" 

Both of you were quiet then, Ren continuing to pet through his tail and your eyes locked on the TV.

You didn't want to admit to him that you hadn't found a single report of your disappearance in the months of news watching and paper clippings.

Not even one.

The bloated (and deeply subtextual) silence caused Strade to chuckle, that mischievous grin only widening on his lips as he took another long swig from his beer bottle and put his phone away, letting out a content sigh afterwards as he wiped beer froth from his upper lip.

"Ah, well, I'm not surprised there hasn't been any word about it yet." He said, talking almost casually, like he was discussing the weather. "And yet, you've been here for a little while already, haven't you? And yet, nothing has come up...isn't that a shame~"

"T-They don't stop searching for a while," Ren said quickly, sitting up and doing his best to be reassuring, shooting you a sympathetic smile. You didn't doubt that he had been through something similar during his initial months of capture, so he was probably speaking from a degree of experience. "And maybe we're watching local news...it could be more widespread, you know."

"Mm..." You murmured, crossing your arms over your knees and giving Ren a slight, appreciative smile. "Maybe."

"Ah, Ren, ever the optimist, eh?" 

Strade laughed again around the rim of his beer bottle, before he glanced back towards you again, flashing a doubtful, but (almost) sympathetic smile.

"Who knows? Maybe you're right, but," He clicked his tongue, his eyes going upwards thoughtfully "Knowing police, they might just wait a little while before giving up on the search altogether, especially if the person in question has been missing for a few months already. Pigs are..." He looked back towards you with another chuckle, a darker look in his eyes. "Lazy by nature, ja?"

"Mm..." Ren's ears tilted downwards, matching his defeated look as his gaze went back to his lap. He didn't have the energy to argue with his master, it seemed. "I mean...I'm sure it'll be okay..."

"Ah, I never said it wouldn't be." Strade replied with a wide shrug. "I'm just reminding the two of you, that if there really is no news coverage of your disappearance..." He laughed again, his eyes gleaming with sadistic excitement that was so characteristic of him when he was in this…teasing kind of mood. "Then that means I get to keep you here for just a little bit longer, doesn't it?"

You could tell that Ren was probably blushing as much as you were, even with your face pressed into your crossed arms and knees, doing your best to hide yourself.

You wouldn't give Strade the satisfaction of beating you down so quickly, though.

"S-Sure," You mumbled, crossing your arms a little tighter and hiding your face. "Whatever you say..."

"Tch, you're such a sourpuss," Strade rolled his eyes and finished off the last of his beer, setting the glass bottle down on the ground before he leaned closer to you on the sofa. "You can't expect that someone is going to come looking for you now, do you? It's been months and months...and, well," He paused for a moment, placing a hand on your bare shoulder. "Let's be honest, you probably weren't worth searching for anyway."

"Strade," Ren murmured from the side, his brows furrowed as he stared up at the two of you. "Come on..."

"What? I'm being honest, aren't I?" Strade asked with a chuckle, that little smirk still plastered on his lips as he looked over at Ren before turning his gaze back to you. "They're a little bit like you, in that way, Ren. No friends, no family..." His hand descended your arm as he spoke, his calloused thumb tracing over your healing scars, searching for a reaction from you. "And they certainly don't seem like they had a very interesting life anyway...so why would anyone care about them? 

He paused, his eyes going back to Ren.

"About either of you. That’s kind of what you get for being such,” He laughed, shaking his head. “Ah, shut-ins, right?"

The two of you were quiet again, soaking in the truth of his statement but not rising to it, and when you glanced his way, you could see that Strade was looking thoughtful for a second. 

Like he has expected some kind of reaction from you, and hadn't gotten what he wanted.

"Hm..." He hummed, taking his hand from your arm and letting it rest on your knee. "But...maybe I was being a bit too harsh, hm? Because I do care about you two...in a way."

A more casual smile came to his face as he rubbed your thigh, switching his gaze between the two of you.

"After all...you are my playthings~"

"Don't talk about me like that," You snapped back curtly, placing your legs flat on the sofa and your hands by your sides in protest. Your biting remark earned a warning look from Ren, narrowed eyes, his ears tilted forward in alarm and caution. 

He had gone through this before, of course, and knew when to duck his head and play 'the good boy' for his master.

"Ah, such a strong sense of self, hm?" Strade asked with a barked chuckle, squeezing your thigh firmly and leaning in even closer to your body, his smile sick and toothy. "Too bad you don't have the strength or the freedom to act on that feisty attitude, isn't it, liebling?" 

Despite being so close to you, Strade's eyes then went back to Ren sitting on the ground, shaking his head as he gave him an almost pitying and soft look...appealing to all of Ren's sweeter sensibilities.

"Unlike this one...my obedient little pet..."

Predictably, Ren's expression turned a little softer as he crawled closer to the sofa, searching and keening up for Strade's free hand as it pressed through his hair and pet the space behind his ears, the space he liked to be pet. 

Always 'the good boy' when Strade was nice enough with him...patient enough.

He was easy like that.

Your expression screwed up in annoyance as you watched the two of them, as you watched Ren climb up on the sofa and nuzzle up to his captor with a wagging tail, feeling almost a sense of betrayal as a result of your fellow captive's softness. Like he was giving you expectations to live up to, if you wanted to earn Strade’s fleeting kindness.

"Ah, I think someone's getting a little jealous~" Strade teased, catching sight of your expression, his hand descending down the back of Ren's shorts as he pulled the younger man closer to his body. "Ah, but don't worry, fraulein...I have plenty of love for both of my precious toys, hm?" 

"I'm not your toy," You murmured hotly, your face flushing as you averted your eyes, all while Ren started to rub against his captor, the sticky tip of his cock peering over the waistband of his shorts.

So fucking easy.

"Ah, is that so?" Strade asked with a little growl, as the hand in Ren's shorts slid to the front and he started to palm and grope at his cock, making Ren all the more desperate for him. "I think the lady protests too much..."

He then reached over and roughly grabbed your chin with his free hand, forcing your eyes together and your body closer to his and Ren's.

"Mm!" You grunted as he forced you forward, your eyes squeezing shut as you shoved a hand against his chest and tried to push yourself away. 

He was stronger than you, though, always would be, and held you firmly in place.

"Then what exactly is it that you think you are, hm?" His voice lowered as he pulled your face closer to his, his lips almost (almost) tracing over your cheek. "Because I'm pretty damn sure I said it earlier...you and him, are both just little toys for me to play around with~"

"Mm..." You let out a low grunt, your eyes fluttering open when he kissed you (really kissed you!) on the cheek, as you gave him a defiant look.

It was all you could do. 

You couldn’t fight him, or argue with him in any meaningful way. This was all you had, now.

Petty defiance.

That just caused Strade to laugh again, still keeping his grip on your chin as he looked deeply into your eyes, clearly unphased by your little show of defiance but...maybe a little impressed that it had persisted this far.

"Such a determined, little toy...even though you know damn well that you're powerless."

He then let out a little sigh, feeling as Ren pressed his body against his side and rubbed his cock against his hip, whimpering and moaning for his attention. 

His grip on you lightened up a little, as he gave you a (handsome) smile, reminding you of the charming stranger who chatted to a lonely soul in a shady bar, and not the man who he really was.

"But, I'll admit...I find that defiant look in your eyes to be, ah," He chuckled again and gave Ren's cock a firm squeeze. "Kind of sexy. You little spitfire, you..."

"Fuck you," You said, though the bite behind the words was lacking its usual venom.

You didn't want to get punished, at least in any significant way. 

Your recent cuts had barely started healing, after all.

"Ah, such rude language...such a bad, little toy."

Strade let out a condescending tut, shaking his head and suddenly giving your cheek a firm, hard *SLAP*, once, twice, three times, with the hand not holding your chin (making Ren immediately jump backwards against the sofa, his eyes wide and his ears up and alert).

"AH!" You yelped after each slap, your head jerking to the side, burning red from the harsh contact. 

"Do I need to remind you about what happens when you misbehave like this?" He asked firmly, running a knuckle down your blazing cheek as he brought his lips close to your ear, his voice low, almost dangerous. "Because you're on the verge of getting punished now...and I know you really don’t want to be punished, do you, fraulein?"

"N...No..." You murmured, looking back towards him, tears threatening to streak down your cheeks and your expression thoroughly defeated. "I won't...misbehave. I’m sorry, I’ll be good."

"Good..." Strade purred with a smug look of satisfaction, seeming pleased with your docile response as he stroked your cheek a little more fondly. "Good girl. That's what I want to hear."

"Mm..." You hummed with subdued pleasure, willing yourself not to keen into the soft touch.

You wouldn't, you couldn't do that to yourself...could you?

Predictably, Ren slowly slinked back towards Strade once he was done with you, his small form pressing against his broad back as his tail wagged slowly, side to side. 

It seemed, despite (or maybe because of) your abuse, Ren wanted his master's attention.

You were a little offended by his total lack of loyalty, but more than that, you felt your core start to throb at the realisation, watching Ren's sleepy desire melt away as he waited for that desire to be given from his master.

You couldn’t be sure that you wouldn’t get a little turned on yourself, if you watched Strade beat Ren into submission.

What was loyalty here, anyway?

Strade naturally took notice of Ren’s need for attention, pulling one hand away from your face to reach over to his, pushing thick fingers through his soft hair and idly scratching his scalp again, like he was stroking a beloved pet in his lap.

"Ah, let me guess," He murmured with a knowing smirk and a subtle click of his tongue. "You want me to pay attention to you now, don't you, fuchs?"

"Yes," Ren nodded, not even a little guilty, it seemed, as he pressed closer to him, his tail wagging even more at the offer. "Please, please pay attention to me."

"Such a needy little thing," Strade chuckled, his voice almost a coo as his gaze switched between the two of you, a dark, lustful look of realisation coming to his face as he thought of what to do next. "Here's an idea...how about you two play together for a while, hm?"

"Huh?" Ren blinked golden eyes at his captor, before looking towards you, his cheeks almost as red as yours, (in spite of not having the same abuse thrown towards him, this time around).

"You heard me, Ren," Strade asserted firmly, taking a firmer grip on your chin and pulling you inwards, towards their tangled bodies. "Play together." 

You gave them both another defiant look, but, for whatever reason, didn't pull back as Strade pulled you in towards Ren and forced your faces together, initiating a (not wholly) non-consenting kiss.

"Mmph," You groaned, trying to turn your face away, but Strade's grip was stronger than your will to fight, and Ren's subservience kept his body tethered in space.

You had no way of winning.

Strade chuckled, seeming almost amused by your final display of defiance (and how much it was weakening) as he forced you closer to Ren and watched as your lips connected, a characteristically sadistic gleam in his eyes, as he let out a small sigh of contentment.

"Mmm...such a beautiful sight to witness..." He sighed, taking his hand from your chin and pressing it against the front of his khakis, groping the growing hardness of his erection.

"Ahhnn…" You groaned and gasped, as Ren pressed his hands to your chest (copping a feel of your breasts beneath your tank top) and ran his tongue over your lips, deepening the kiss and making it all the more intense.

You weren't sure if he was doing this for himself or his master. You weren’t sure if the distinction mattered that much anymore.

"Mmm! Such a bold move, Ren...little pervert that you are."

Strade laughed again with an indulgent look in his eye, watching the scene play out before his waiting eyes, as he groped at his cock. Before long, though, he raised a hand back up towards you, taking a firm fistful of Ren's hair and forcing him deeper into the kiss.

“Harder. Keep going.”

Ren let out a frightened, little yip as he was pushed harder against the kiss, with that force being enough to part both of your lips for just a moment, making the sloppy exchange of tongues and saliva and spittle all the more...erotically grotesque and obvious.

"Mmm...that's right...just like that..."

You were like his own personal porno, exaggerated kisses with too much saliva and wetness, groping hands, pantomimed moans and groans to make the pleasure appear all the more real.

You knew that this was fake. 

That didn't stop your entire body from throbbing with want, though.

"Hmph..." You groaned softly as Ren hurriedly pulled up the front of your tank and started to touch your chest, hot skin and skin, the kisses only growing more erratic and exaggerated.

"Ah, so naughty..." Strade murmured approvingly, sitting up (his belt was unbuckled, and his khakis were unzipped and unbuttoned) and showing off the hard lines of his erection through his briefs. "You're making this old man feel pretty excited, you know that, fuchs...?"

His firm grip on the back of Ren's head tightened, making the younger man groan hungrily against your lips, as his other hand reached down and slipped back into the crotch of his shorts, pulling the waistband down around his swelling knot and framing his cock with elastic. The tip was bright red and sticky with oozing pre-cum, and your mouth subconsciously watered for it.

"Mm-ahhh..." Ren pulled back from the kiss with a needy little whine, drool and slobber pooling down his chin as you followed after him, leaving kitten licks against his jaw, his chin, and his neck. “Nnnh…”

Strade laughed warmly, seeming to enjoy the sight of both of you so close together, jerking his fist up and down Ren's cock and indulging himself in his needy whines, and the way his body trembled with want. You knew if Strade kept touching like this, Ren was going to cum in an instant, and you hoped (hoped, hoped) that he wouldn’t.

"Ahh, how adorable...you two look so lovely together." He let out a little huff of amusement through his nose. "Maybe it's time for me to step in too, hm?"

"Mm?" Ren glanced towards his master, his cheeks flushed as Strade leaned closer and took Ren's lips with his own.

You pulled yourself backwards and blinked as Strade and Ren began to kiss hungrily, your head growing hot and your eyes hazy at the display. 

You might have been defiant, still, you might have played the role of 'the little spitfire' that Strade was so fond of, but there was...something about this that was getting you really, really hot.

Strade's head was tilted forward completely as he pressed his thick lips firmly against Ren's, his tongue forcing its way past Ren's pale, trembling lips and creating a hard kiss, an embrace that was as suffocating as it was pleasurable for the younger man. From the way that Strade was shifting, you had a sense that his arousal was growing as quickly as Ren’s had, as he deepened the kiss even more, wanting every inch of that mouth to be throughly claimed and owned.

Pulling back from the kiss slightly, he glanced over, peering at you through eyes hazy with desire, the sadistic glee in his eyes growing more intense as he took in your own hungry expression.

"Come here, liebling," He crooned, letting go of Ren's cock (much to the younger man's chagrin) and patting his knee authoritatively. "Come here...come to me."

Without a word of defiance, you crawled towards their bodies and keened into Strade’s suffocating warmth, pressing more kisses and kitten licks against his neck, his soft, scarred jaw, his stubbly cheek.

"That's it," He praised, his golden eyes flitting shut as he let out a low groan of pleasure, tilting his head back against the sofa’s cushions. "That's a good girl, my good girl..."

His free hand slid down the back of your shorts then, kneading and groping your soft ass and pulling you closer, tethering your body to his, before he leaned forward to press hard, open-mouthed kisses against your own gasping mouth...all while Ren keened in even closer too, so close that you can feel his lips trail against yours.

"Mmm...ahh,"

The room was filled with the sound of hot, wet kisses, wet lips and tongues trailing over hot skin and flesh, teeth biting, breath heaving. The heat of the three of you all pressed together, like a grotesque sandwich of desperate hunger, was growing more intense by the second, and it was making all three of you that much more erratic.

Strade pulled you into a lip-locked kiss, his tongue slipping its way into your mouth as you felt him press his hard against your thigh, while Ren licked needily at the wet crevice between your lips, his own cock bobbing uselessly against his belly, smearing pre-cum into his skin and pubic hair. 

You did the same when Strade pulled back and kissed Ren with the same forceful hunger, rocking your cunt against his lap and leaving a damp smear of wet against his khakis, all while desperately trying to claim the kiss, as Ren had done to you.

Ren's hand slipped down the front of your shorts, probing and toying with the (frankly embarrassing) wet slick of your clit and your folds as the two of you began to kiss again, wet, hot, heaving breaths, moans and whines as you tried to push closer to him, reaching down to circle your fist around his cock, drinking in his moans as he pressed them into the kiss.

Strade's grip on both of you (his hand on your ass, the other in Ren's hair) grew tighter as he pressed both of his little playthings together, like a little kid playing too roughly with his toys, a predator fucking around with his prey. 

His body was feeling especially hot beneath yours, though, responding well as you both kissed so hungrily and desperately, his own tongue exploring, claiming, owning, both of your gasping mouths each time you took a moment to peel back from each other and breathe.

He had thoroughly crushed the defiance out of both of you, and it was intoxicating.

Strade finally pulled away, breaking the kiss between the three of you, a sinister and sadistic grin plastered on his face as he gazed down at both of you, his excitement at its peak from the show he had just witnessed.

"Mmm...I can tell that you've both finally given in to me...you're mine now, toys...and I won't let either of you get away from me."

[mythosidhesdollhouse]

Shibajuku Girls: The Return?

Soooooooooo I've been debating whether to post about this at all because I doubt anyone will find it very interesting, but doll gossip is thin on the ground these days and I'm not quite ready to go to bed yet, so eff it let's go--

Alright so, those of you who follow these things may remember back during this year's Toy Fair it was announced that for some inexplicable reason the Shibajuku Girls doll line was planning a comeback. For reference: These 13" dolls from the Australian toy company Hunter Products originally turned up on shelves in the US back in the mid-2010's, to a fairly lackluster reception. Between their unusually high price point ($30-$35, a good deal above the average for fashion dolls at the time) and the fact that they are a rather blatant knock-off of Pullips, no one seemed to be that into them. In a way with their hair play gimmick (a lot of charms and hair clips) meant to interest children in Japanese street fashion I suppose one could see them as a precursor of the Decora Girlz, albeit with far lazier and less successful execution. I did end up buying one--Yoko--for the big head collection, and she's...fine, if forgettable. I like having her in the mix for variety, but I could never quite work up the enthusiasm to get another. The demise of ToysRUs around the time of their release probably didn't help matters any, as it was one of the few places that stocked them. These dolls lingered on the shelves of my local Target seemingly forever, before quietly disappearing to absolutely no fanfare.

But to bring it back to Toy Fair 2024--

For reasons that NO ONE I've heard speak on the subject can quite understand, seemingly out of nowhere Hunter Toys showed up at Toy Fair this year with a display of older dolls from the first two waves of Shibajuku, plus a wall of these mock-ups for a projected third series of anime-inspired characters. If you look closely at the 'prototype photos' in the boxes--not actual dolls--they appear to literally just be restyled Pullips. A lot of people (myself included) speculated that they may have put the money into creating a new head sculpt that more closely replicated the doll this line was always made to emulate, and the lack of actual dolls in boxes was a sign that this Shibajuku 2.0 head had yet to go into production in time for the event.

Turns out--no. That's not what they did at all. So--

A few days ago through a series of random browsing encounters I stumbled across listings for two of the five proposed 'Shibajuku Anime' dolls on Walmart's website. They are showing up as out of stock, but if you put them on your wishlist you can add them to your cart from there (though not check out), which is a pretty sure indication that they're expected in stock online and in stores soon.

So...what to say about these. First of all they quite obviously have the same old Shibajuku face. The fashions have considerably less detail than the prototype photos, which in itself I'd be willing to forgive for reasons I'll get to in a minute, but the main thing that overwhelmingly stands out to me here is that Kiki, one of the two characters shown with a darker complexion in the mock-ups, has gone from having tan skin and white hair to pale skin and black hair. Which, yeah no fuck that. No way of knowing if this was the brand's decision or a specific request from Walmart, but whichever way you slice it, it sucks. Lack of diversity was a huge issue with the first iteration of this line, and after the promise of a course correct it looks like we're back to more of the same. I will definitely be bending a critical eye on them to see if the other dark-skinned character, Sakura, receives a similar whitewashing :/

Now, with that rant out of my system, is there anything good to say? Well, the price, for one. These are set to retail for $19.98, which is significantly below what they sold for originally. No doubt the lower quality fashions and lack of accessories have a lot to do with it, but on the whole I'd say it's a plus. Also...as much as as I would have loved to see the ensuing drama if they had had the audacity to churn out a more blatant Pullip clone, for continuity's sake if nothing else I'm glad they stuck with the old face. She's a weird little bird and despite it all she deserves her place in the wider family of Big Head dolls, however derivative that might be (I mean, if anything Pullip needs MORE clones, Blythe has such a start on her in that arena....).

And finally (FINALLY) to wrap things up--will I be buying one? Perhaps surprisingly--yes! I plan to order Akira when she becomes available to ship. I think she's decently cute--you all know my bias for green hair--and I have a purely academic curiosity to compare her to my 'classic' Shibajuku. Plus, despite all my dismissive snark, I would actually like to see this relaunch be successful. I'm always in favor of diversity in the doll market, and this particular type of doll has been sadly under-represented of late. There is plenty room on the shelves for more big head girlies! MGA is daily signing that real estate away at an increasingly rapid pace XD My hope is that they do well enough to warrant the release of the other three dolls from the proposed new line-up, and that maybe--MAYBE--if the Dolly Gods are kind we will see Sakura with her original dark skin tone, as intended.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee ok that's enough sleep-procrastinating for one night, I'm done. If anyone else cares about this at all I'm sincerely curious to hear your thoughts.

[luminologism]

Sky Cotl Skytober 2024: A retrospective by ME!

All of my skytober pieces in chronological order! -> here The song I set it too! -> here

This year, I participated in an Inktober adjacent drawing event. I did the Sky Cotl version of Inktober, Skytober. Now that it's November 1st, I have thoughts and feelings about the experience, what I learned, what I did right, and what I can improve on! This post is very much for me to reconcile and reflect on the art I did this month, but please feel read and enjoy my raw thoughts as well. I feel like everybody can learn from or relate to what I'm gonna chatter on about below, so take a read if you're so inclined! I'll be touching on relatability, popularity vs niche, effort vs efficiency, and passion vs honing skill.

WHY I DID SKYTOBER

So, as I said above, I participated in Skytober! It's my first Inktober adjacent event EVER! I've done similar projects in the past related to other arts (NaNoWriMo for example) but ultimately failed! Why? Well, I just didn't see that stuff through. I did not have a strong goal, and thus the past projects inevitably failed.

This year, however, I was DETERMINED to finish this project! This is because I have been meaning to make my inevitable swap from Paint Tool Sai 2 to Clip Studio Paint for AGES. I've had this program since forever (and even had the old version Manga Studio as a kid!), but it was far too robust at the time for me to want to learn it. However, it's been sitting on my computer for ages, and I have a massive commission in the works currently! I felt many of CSP's tools would be useful for that commission, so I took a bit of a detour and decided that Skytober would help me sit down and actually spend time learning this damn program.

Needless to say, I think my attempts at learning at least a bit of the program was successful. I learned a lot of the basic functions and where I liked tools and functions placed, I learned how to fiddle with some interesting brushes, and I also spent a LOT of time learning how to (roughly) paint backgrounds! These are all skills I was desperately trying to learn anyways, so having some solid and strict direction very much helped. I still have a lot to learn program wise, but drawing (nearly) every day has definitely given me a solid foothold in this program. As a diehard SAI2 user, the jump is difficult! But I think I did alright.

MY CREATIVE MINDSET AND DIRECTION

Now, the art itself. There are favorites I have, and there are absolute duds as well. In my eyes, to be specific. Drawing (nearly) every day is bound to run you dry for some mental and creative resources, but I did a few things to help mitigate that and keep the train chugging. For a long time, I had been meaning to make a Sky Cotl animatic using the song Virtual Angel by ARTMS. That's a recent release from that music group, but it's been one of my favorites recently. I think it's a beautiful song, and with lyrics like 'for the sin of swallowing up the sun' and 'fly me to your eden, this is eden' and 'i'll be there for you when your wings break', I thought the song fit Sky Cotl's vibe perfectly. However, I know absolutely nothing about animatics, so I decided to repurpose the idea into assigning a lyric to each Skytober piece instead. This massively helped with direction of ideas. It wasn't perfect, but it still significantly helped. Another thing I did to keep myself inspired was I actually wrote out a significant number of my ideas beforehand. They were not super fleshed out at times, and often they changed if I got inspired in another way. And other times, I just completely gave up on any ideas and decided the goal was just to finish SOMETHING, if just to keep the ball rolling. Either way, at least planning some things ahead of time helped eliminate a majority of the 'idk what to draaaaw!' woes down. It also helped me stay efficient, and having the song as direct inspiration sort of kept stoking the fires of my passion and helped me keep going! Raaah! Even so, I still ended up with duds, and you can absolutely see that reflected in each pieces notes.

RECEPTION OF MY WORK

I've never had this much attention on my work before. I used to run a pretty popular twitter before restarting it (and then deleting that second one just recently due to twitter being twitter), but I've never surpassed 1000 notes on anything before. Please understand, while I know that's not really all that much, for me that is! It's like imagining 1000 people standing in the same room as me giving me a thumbs up on my silly picture. It was amazing!! I would look at my notes all day at the start of the month with a smile on my face. It was surreal seeing people's thoughts coming in in real time. Seeing everybody's thoughts and feelings and interpretations of my works was amazing and so interesting to see. There would be people simply screaming at my work with glee, giving me genuine and sincere compliments, giving me their interpretations of how my works made them feel, and so much more! The most jarring thing for me was seeing a few people tag their friends in my work. I would sit there like 'huh, this person liked this piece so much that they had to show their friend directly!'. And it made me smile.

I also got to see in real time how my efforts can directly correlate with the interactions I got. And that swung both ways. There are some pieces I posted that barely had eyes on them, and it wasn't because I did poorly. It was because I think people can very much see when something is low effort or if you post something without confidence. Meanwhile, there were some pieces I posted that I sort of just threw together, and people LOVED? My picture for the prompt 'Mural' went absolutely bonkers, and I don't even really think it's all that good! On that piece I was just testing out manga stone wall brushes and fussing with glowing layer modes. It's by far my most popular Skytober piece as of posting this retrospective though, so it's interesting to see!

Another thing I saw that was interesting and I picked up very quickly on was my own OC content sees less eyes! Not because my OCs are bad or anything, but strangers can't relate to it! Even if the art is baller, my OC content had less interest than my more vague pieces. The pieces where I posted random moths (the closer to base game look, the better) were the ones people liked the best! That, or if I posted in game characters.

OVERALL

All in all, it was a very enlightening experience! If I do another event like this again, I will not pigeonhole myself to the square little paint stamp vibe I had going on. That made it hard to branch out or many images look wider. I will also put less effort in. Funny that I word it like that, but I actually think I put TOO MUCH effort in on some pieces! That made my inspiration (and other pieces) suffer. I also think that while I enjoyed posting my works with song lyrics, I won't do that again. Or if I do, I'm choosing a shorter song. I might also combine prompt days next time.

[damnyoureyes-weasley]

Was.

That's the hardest word right now.

In the first 5 hours, I was in shock.

I had to sleep away the next 10 hours.

I then listened to their music and cried every time his voice played. I watched my favourite videos of them, once funny now clouded with grief and desperately searching for him in every clip just to see him smiling. Their lyrics are a reminder every time, each songs meaning now completely changed forever. I'll never not feel pain when I listen or think if them.

Half a Heart and Spaces were particularly hard, but I lost it completely when Good Years and Two of Us played.

It's over 24 hours, and it still doesn't feel.

I find myself feeling stupid for grieving a man I never met, or saw in person.

I find myself carrying on with my day and laughing just to cry minutes later as it sets in more.

My minds a jumble of emotions, I feel physical pain in my heart not just from my own grief but knowing the millions of fans feeling the same and the excruciating pain his friends and family are feeling.

First thing I thought of was how his little boy would now never see his father again.

I hurt for the boys, losing their brother, the amount of regrets they've expressed.

I just can't think straight it feels as though I'm in some parallel universe, and I'm going to wake up soon.

This is a tragic, heartbreaking thing, and I can only think of all the what ifs, what if he'd gone back home after Nialls concert, what if he'd been supervised, what if he'd survived the fall. I keep picturing him surviving and that event helping him finally defeat his addictions and demons and him seeing Bear and loving his life for another 40 years minimum, and it breaks my heart knowing it's impossible.

All my thoughts are spiralling, and after reading Louis and Zayns tributes, I'm a mess. I'm not ready for anything Niall or Harry puts out.

Check on your loved ones guys, reach out if you're struggling with even the littlest thing, please.

Whatever happened on Wednesday, it didn't need to, and so many tuings could've prevented it, and that's the true tragedy of it all.

Sorry if this was all over the place. I'm devastated. I'm angry I'm lost, and I'm shocked.

I just wanna sleep this week away, but I can't because I have responsibilities, and no one in my life will understand the pain I feel for this beautiful soul.

As much as it'll be painful, I know their music, which he had a vital and arguably the most important role in creating, will help me through this time.

[wexhappyxfew]

SHANNON!! You know how much I love the Silver Bullets girls, so I freaked when I saw you posted this!! You also know I love angst (who doesn't, right?). So, could I possibly get Bucky x Kennedy with the prompt, "Hands off!" OR "You'll back off if you know what's good for you."

I couldn't choose which one I liked more lol!! Protective Bucky is my absolute FAV! I know it is going to be amazing!! Thank youuuu!💕🫶

MADS!!!!! HELLO MY FRIEND!!!! so lovely to see you both in the inbox and sending in this duo and prompt! :D i saw it and was immediately like - mads you are a GEM - because protective bucky IS the absolute best!!!! THANK YOU FOR THE SILVER BULLETS LOVE!!! they're my girls and are a joy to write so truly thank you :) your love and support has meant so so much!! i DO know you are an angst lover too hehe, so i decided to take a look at the earlier days of kennedy x bucky knowing one another (with extended cameos from judy and paulina - paulina who i wanted to work with more since i have written a lot of her yet), and dealing with...a rather precarious moment in which bucky is VERY MUCH being protective over the SB girls (with hints of kennedy x bucky of course because that's what makes the world go 'round). i went with the second prompt because i just couldn't help myself with that prompt - it's just too good!!! so please enjoy!!! <333333

far less losses

(a/n): you remember when judy mentioned that john egan has an 'awful soft spot for the Silver Bullets crew'? well....here we are, with bucky showing off that soft spot (which also equates to his soft spot for a certain kennedy farley) all on display. SO -- please enjoy kennedy, judy and paulina, with a bit of bucky being well....bucky haha! please enjoy and thank you again! <3

"I think it's cute!" Judy exclaimed with a smile from beside Kennedy in the mirror in the bunk room the Silver Bullets girls were camped out in, "Truly, Kenny, just even taking those few extra minutes to pull a few pieces of hair away from your beautiful face always makes you feel better."

Judy was right - and she usually was.

After a rather depleting mission that morning, Kennedy had been feeling like laying down and staring at the ceiling for the rest of the evening was her ultimate goal, but Judy Rybinski had found her and convinced her to pull on her Class-A's and take an hour or two to destress in the local pub.

Kennedy shifted herself side to side in the mirror, her thick ginger hair that was usually pulled back from her face in a poor-looking ponytail or hastily put-together braids, appreciating the extra minute Judy had taken in telling her to leave her hair down and clip up some stray pieces behind the lower part of the crown of her head.

"This looks nice." Kennedy said, her voice sounding strange at the sight of seeing herself actually looking quite pretty. Usually covered in grease, dirt and other substances that she didn't even want to know of, seeing her face so bright and clean, her brown eyes light and alive, made her smile a bit.

"You look so pretty, Kenny," Judy said from beside her in the mirror, glancing up at her with the most genuine look on her face, "seriously, you could walk in any pub in England and they'd think that it's Rita Hayworth." Kennedy couldn't help but grin at Judy's words as she took in all angles she could.

"Oh, c'mon, Judy," Kennedy said, glancing down at the ball gunner, "you could do much of the same and they'd think it's Ingrid Bergman."

"That's mighty kind of you Kenny," Judy said with a chuckle, her face glowing, "Ingrid is quite the star, isn't she? Top compliments from Kenny Farley herself."

"What can I say? I'm a miracle worker at the best of times." Kennedy said and Judy laughed again, before looking up to Kennedy softly.

"Let's go get some drinks." Judy said, "Forget about whatever the hell today was, right?"

The walk across base with the sun nearly set was quite peaceful, especially in the summer months - it almost felt like home in some weird way.

Growing up with both older and younger siblings - all brothers - she'd spent enough of her summer days outside from dawn to dusk, drinking her mother's fresh-made lemonade, peeling oranges and eating cheese sandwiches, catching frogs, playing in the streets, making a fair attempt at a ball game where she was usually one of the only girls (having brothers made you automatically a part of the line-up, even if you struck out 90% of the time, she got better though).

She'd come inside, sweating, covered in dirt and grass, with her freckles on full display and her mother would tell her to go and get herself cleaned up for dinner. And everything would smell like fresh lavender soap and soft linen, and dinner would be roasted chicken, carrots, potatoes, asparagus, all the fixings, more lemonade, cookies for desert. Her mother would have to make multiple batches just to feed all her hungry kids.

And her dad would come back from work and be cracking jokes, telling them stories from work, what he had done that day. Something about summer, at home, in Boston.

My how the times had changed from then to now.

The local town pub was a place she'd been a few times, but each time it was much of the same when she got in. It was in fact like entering a whole different world that was separated from both summer and Thorpe Abbotts.

Everything smelled like beer and smoke, there was also music playing, people dancing and without a doubt, every corner you turned, you were shaking hands with someone, introducing yourself and saying your hellos. A home away from home. And it was quite the eclectic mix - USAAF and RAF pilots and crew members all together, local town people, Land Girls. Enough of a comfort though so you could enjoy your drink and meet a new face or two.

"Pretty crowded." Judy said from beside her as they stepped inside and took their ganders around, "Never seen so many people shoved in one place."

"One too many bad missions seems to send everybody here, I won't lie, Judy." Kennedy said, reaching up to tuck some hair back over her shoulder, and letting her eyes glance around again.

"Look who decided to show up." Judy and Kennedy looked up to see Paulina, resident radio op, coming towards them, her long, dark hair elegantly curled, her red lipstick making an appearance again that reminded Kennedy starkly of their training days where Paulina was always going on about the importance of always carrying a tube of lipstick where she went. She always said that you'd never know who'd you see - Christ, Cary Grant could show up and you'll be thanking yourself for that damn tube of lipstick!

"Thought you were staying in?" Kennedy shrugged.

"Judy dragged me out. Promised to pay for a drink."

"Hey!" Judy said looking to Kennedy and teasingly shoving at her shoulder, "I didn't say a thing about paying! I told ya that you needed to get out. Destress. Ya know?" Paulina snickered and glanced to Kennedy who smirked.

"And��I didn't drag you out. I was just convincing enough to get you outta that bunk room." Judy said, "It's a good trait to have, isn't it, Pauli?"

"That's right," Paulina said, stepping forward to wrap an arm around Judy's shoulders, "let's get you two some drinks, alright? And….just so you know, Lieutenant Bradshaw offered to open a tab, so….go crazy, I don't know….I guess she could see plenty of the looks on our faces."

"She's a sweetheart." Judy said with a smile.

"She always knows," Kennedy said quietly as they moved towards the bar, "she's good like that. Reminds me of Birdie."

"She always reminds me of Birdie." Paulina said with a sad smile, "Maybe it's a sign from Birdie up above. Letting us get ourselves Annie Bradshaw as our pilot. You know?"

"I take any sorta stuff like that as a sign," Judy said as they approached the bar and called for three beers, "there's no one like Birdie, but there sure as hell isn't a soul like Annie Bradshaw."

"You ever think about what might've happened if Birdie hadn't gotten hit?" Paulina asked as the tender brought their beers and gave them a smile - Paulina took a long, hard sip before sighing, "Just….things would be so different, but we woulda never met Annie. I don't fucking know, it's weird to think about sometimes."

Kennedy and Judy exchanged quiet glances, but it wasn't like Paulina was lying. Sometimes it was weird to ponder a thing like that - if Birdie had never died and they had never met Annie. And then in moments like this, Kennedy always though that life worked to do things in ways that were always meant to be and clearly what had happened was meant to be, despite the circumstances.

And Annie Bradshaw was always meant to be Silver Bullets' command pilot in place of Birdie Faulkner.

That was one thing for sure.

"Good evening." All three of their heads turned to find one of the RAF pilots they'd seen hanging around in the weeks previous coming towards them, his eyes catching Kennedy's in a way that made her slowly shift her gaze away and sip at her drink again. She sighed. Paulina rolled her eyes.

"Evening." Paulina said slowly, lifting her mug of beer towards him before sipping it and growing quiet. Judy glanced at Kennedy, who gave her a quiet look.

Many of the men that were outside the 100th were usually nice and cordial to them. There'd been some off-handed, unneeded comments before about women in aviation, but they'd heard enough of it to ignore any sort of comment like that. They'd heard it all. For months. Some for years. Ignorance was bliss.

"You three wouldn't happen to be part of the lady crew in the 100th would you?" he asked them, sipping his beer slowly and meeting all their gazes, "I've just had quite the conversation with your Annie Bradshaw if you are. Sweet girl."

"It's Lieutenant." Kennedy offered his way, meeting his gaze again, "She's our pilot."

"Ah," the RAF - Kennedy thought he was a pilot it seemed - pilot said, with a nod, "very sweet girl." Paulina shifted beside Kennedy and sighed.

"Command pilot." Paulina muttered under her breath.

"Anything else?" Judy asked, almost sweetly, but slightly like she were undercutting his words in a way where she wanted to try and disperse the interaction as quickly as possible, "We've had a long day." The RAF pilot glanced at her and smiled, before glancing at Kennedy and Paulina.

"Long day? What ever was the matter?" he asked them and then chuckled slightly and sipped his beer again, "Right - you fly during the day, am I correct?"

"Here we fucking go," Paulina said, pushing back from the bar table, looking ready to start swinging, but Kennedy held her arm and looked to the RAF pilot again, "I swear to God, Kenny."

"We do." Kennedy said, "Why? Is there a problem with that?" The RAF pilot chuckled.

"No, no, not at all. Just curious." Kennedy leaned forward and raised a brow.

"Curious. Curious, curious, curious - what are we curious about it. We've been doing it ever since we came across the fucking pond-"

"What we're trying to say," Judy said interrupting her and giving both Kennedy and Paulina a look, "that's just what we do. We do days, you do nights. Either way, we're pounding the Germans day and night and you should be really thankful for that. You do what you all do, and we do what we do. And it works."

"You'd have far less losses." he offered, in a way that sounded condescending - it made Kennedy's skin crawl.

Far less losses.

Birdie.

Birdie invaded her mind like she always did.

"Listen, we just finished a really crappy mission," Kennedy said, leaning forward and gently wrapping an arm over Judy's shoulders and pulling her closer back from the RAF pilot, "we can pick up this conversation another time."

"Apologies, apologies," the RAF pilot said, holding up his hands in a pitiful, mock-defense, "I'm only commenting on such happenings. Nothing more."

"Commenting-" Kennedy started, but another voice entered her ears.

"Evening."

"Major." the RAF pilot said, suddenly straightening up, sticking out his hand to shake, and his eyes turning glossy, that earlier determination and confidence dwindling.

Kennedy slowly looked back over her shoulder and watched as Major Egan, the smell of beer and cologne wafting off of him, came to a stop beside the three of them there, looking towards the RAF pilot with a face that was the closest to stone-cold that there could be. And Major Egan was not the best at schooling his emotions and concealing what he was actually feeling, but he was doing a pretty damn good job right now.

"What are we talking about?" Major Egan asked, his voice deeper than Kennedy had heard it before, as he crossed his arms and straightened his back, looking directly at the RAF pilot, "Go on, don't mind me."

"Uh, well-"

"Just about our missions," Judy butted in sweetly, looking up at Major Egan, "sir, we were just discussing our….rather interesting differences. But that we bomb the Germans all the same."

"Really?" Major Egan said, almost sarcastically, his smile wide on his cheeks, his voice a crack higher, his tone one that he always had when he was trying to hide his annoyance, "Thank you for that Rybinski, really valuable information." Major Egan looked at the RAF pilot. "You should've just come and talked right with me. These ladies have had a long day. Up at 0300 and still making it out here. They don't wanna have to discuss anything with missions and all. You should know." The group fell quiet as the RAF pilot rather loudly and quite nervously slurped at his beer.

"I just knew they were apart of the lady crew. With Annie Bradshaw-"

"Lieutenant Bradshaw-" Major Egan offered.

"-and I just figured I'd have a chat with them. Never did do much talking about missions with a lady crew before."

"Oh and it's bound to be your last-" Major Egan commented.

"Sir-" Kennedy said looking to him and giving him a look as he met her gaze. Something in his eye told her that he was going to stop until this RAF pilot walked away and she was almost too tired to care if he did say something more or not.

"What's all this about a lady crew, too?" Major Egan said, "They're another one of our crews in the 100th. Did all the same training we did, same shit." Major Egan chuckled. "You wouldn't know that because you were here, what? Drinking warm beer and complaining about the sun-shining, huh? Upset it wasn't nighttime-"

"Major." Paulina said looking up at him, "Just ignore him, we were going to go find Lieutenant Bradshaw anyway."

"Nah, nah," Major Egan said, stepping forward, closer to the RAF pilot this time - the height difference was palpable, with the RAF pilot looking upwards and Major Egan looking downwards, like some sort of quiet conversation being exchanging between the two, "gotta name?"

"Uh, Langley, sir-"

"Langley." Major Egan said, with a funny tone to his voice that was clearly making fun of the way the RAF pilot had said it, "Where the hell you from, Langley?"

"Birmingham. Sir."

"Oh, you're gonna start calling me sir, now, huh?" Major Egan said glancing back at the group of the three of them and grinning that sarcastic, shit-eating grin and pointing over his shoulder, "He called me sir, what a fucking character." Major Egan turned back to the RAF pilot and let his face grow cold.

"The crew is Silver Bullets and they're apart of the 100th just like myself," Major Egan said, "and they've had a long day. All of us have, got it? So, you'll back off if you know what's good for you. And leave these ladies alone and run along to you and your British friends, alright? Get yourself some warm beer, too."

"It's not really super warm-"

"You drink warm fucking beer." Major Egan said with a look, hands on his hips this time, "Go on."

Slowly Kennedy glanced back at the RAF pilot and watched as his brain seemed to rewire, licking his lips quickly as he did so, before retreating like a dog with its tail between its legs. The three of them watched as Major Egan watched the RAF pilot turn to leave, ducking out of the pub with the beer in his hand. Major Egan turned to them, a grin on his face, clearly satisfied with the words that had left his lips and then met her gaze.

"What a guy," Major Egan said, as Kennedy held his gaze, her cheeks heating slightly as she looked back to her beer sat, the glass practically melting on the beer and sighed, "these RAF pilots got a set to be saying stuff like that to you all."

"He said he talked to Lieutenant Bradshaw, sir," Judy said looking up to Major Egan who leaned up the bar beside her, "called her a sweet girl and all. He couldn't even seem to fathom the idea of Annie flying planes." Judy chuckled and looked to Major Egan again. "He probably would've fainted on the spot to hear that we actually are pretty efficient as an all-female bombing crew." Major Egan chuckled at her words and raised a hand for a beer.

"Got that right, Rybinski." Major Egan said with a smile Judy's way before looking to Kennedy and Paulina, "Everyone doing okay after today?"

One thing Kennedy always appreciated with their leaders was that they recognized the toll missions like that took on people - whether if they showed it on their faces or not, their eyes always spoke in ways they couldn't. And he could see that, that much was true.

"I have a cold beer in my hand, sir," Paulina said with a smile, "that's enough to be thankful for after today I must admit." Major Egan let the corner of his lip poke upwards and glanced at Kennedy.

"Farley." Major Egan said, his voice a drip softer than it had been when he'd first come over, "You're quiet."

"And when Kenny Farley's quiet," Judy said with a small smile, "you know the mission today was beating us more than helping us, sir." Major Egan looked to Judy with a saddened smile on his face before looking back at Kennedy.

"Just thinking about something that pilot said, sir," Kennedy said, looking to Paulina and Judy before looking back to him again, lacing and unlacing her fingers over and over again in a nervous way, "reminded me of Birdie." The group of four grew quiet at her words.

"Just when he was going on, sir, about flying night missions," Kennedy said with a nod, "something like we'd have far less losses than if we flew at night. And it just….I don't know, shit like that bothers me. Because he clearly knew about our crew sir, which meant he oughta have heard about Birdie." Major Egan's eyes shifted to hers again, before he glanced back over his shoulder towards the doorway, shuddering his shoulders and letting out a disgruntled groan. He reached forward to take a long sip of his beer and then stood up from the bar and looked to them.

"Come find me if another one of these smucks has another fucking comment," Major Egan said, reaching up to run a hand through his dark curls on his head, before offering a smile, "no one makes comments about the Silver Bullets crew without me hearing about it, alright?" Then he turned and Kennedy couldn't help but step forward and wrap her hand around his upper arm and look up at him.

"Don't do anything stupid, sir," Kennedy said, looking up at him knowingly, "you can have your thoughts about Silver Bullets and our crew, but other people don't like the looks of a woman in the service, nor a whole bombing crew. Don't go getting yourself into more trouble than is needed, sir, alright?"

"Farley," Major Egan said, reaching up to rest a hand on her shoulder, "I've already made enough comments towards them, about them, for them to build a bridge to the States and back. Defending you all ain't much trouble." Kennedy stared at him and fell quiet. "Look, I just got a few choice words for him. That's all."

"Those choice words better involve, don't say that sorta shit like that again and then a firm goodbye and no more, sir," Kennedy said looking at him, "you don't need that face sporting anymore black eyes."

"You think I got a pretty face, Farley?" Major Egan said, looking sideways at her with that award-winning grin again, pearly whites shiny and bright, his eyes squinty, his gaze on her. Kennedy stared at him, the tops of her cheeks turning red as she suddenly felt herself stand quite still, "Go back and enjoy a drink with Stagliano and Rybinski without someone like him hanging over you. Don't worry about me." Kennedy watched him and then slowly nodded.

"Thanks for that back there by the way, sir," she said, quicker than she wanted, her eyes holding his, "it was a long day, with the mission and all. We just wanted a night out without thinking about it, sir, ya know?" Major Egan smiled and bumped her shoulder.

"Think of it as free entertainment." Major Egan said with a grin, before nodding towards the door, "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to head out for a bit. Enjoy your beer." He quirked out a grin. "You should wear your hair like that more often." And with that, he was stepping away, running his hand through his own hair and stepping outside the pub again. Kennedy watched him go, her cheeks flaming red - the fact he had noticed her hair was enough for her to swallow it down and forget about it. She turned and slid back to the bar, in between Paulina and Judy.

"What'd he say?" Paulina asked, bumping her shoulder, "Looked pretty damn happy about telling that guy off."

"I think he's probably gonna take a punch to the face, but he's going to go send the message home it seems." Kennedy said quietly as Judy giggled, "What?"

"The look on his face when he saw you weren't the happiest camper, oh Kennedy, it was real sweet." Judy said as Kennedy sipped her beer and ignored the swirl in her stomach and crimson on her cheeks, "He's just sweet on us, you know that. They all are. They'd defend us tooth and nail any day."

"See," Paulina said, leaning towards Kennedy and dropping her voice so only Kennedy and Judy could here, "could've put on that tube of red lipstick even just for him."

"Pauli!" Kennedy admonished and Judy giggled.

"You ain't ever gonna forget it, Kenny, never!"

[cushfuddled]

I wish I didn't hate Ed and Stede but here we are I guess

I didn't have time to put a section about this in my review (since it would add another ten minutes onto a fifty minute video hhhhh) but I just gotta take a second and vent about how much I dislike Stede and Ed in season two.

When I watched season two for the first time, I assumed I didn't ship Gentlebeard anymore because I'd...I dunno...gotten bored of the ship or whatever. But when I went back to rewatch season one, I was immediately sucked back into the Ed/Stede jet engine. I loved them through the finale, up until around the middle of season two...at which point I became totally disinterested again.

Even going back through season one clips for this review...the chemistry is soooo strong for me. The only time I got that feeling from season two was like, from the mermaid scene and the finger-stacking scene.

And I honestly think my disinterest stems from the fact that I can't stand Ed and Stede as characters anymore. They're dicks in season one, but ANNOYING dicks in season two, and I guess I just...don't ship characters who make me want to tear my hair out.

In season two, Ed behaves like a petulant five year old with a gun. It's so "say sorry to your friend right now!" "I don't wanna! :(" followed by a stint in the time out chair and a mumbled non-apology. For all of season two, Ed behaves like a spoiled brat, and I really can't stand it.

My friend pointed out that Ed is in a position where he needs to reparent himself. His emotional development likely stopped around the time he killed his dad (when he was still a kid). No one modeled healthy behavior and emotional regulation for Ed past the age of...maybe fifteen? So of course he's gonna behave like a kid. It's gonna be a long road for Ed to learn these regulating strategies as an adult, and I guess...hhhhhh.

None of Ed's trauma excuses Ed from torturing and traumatizing his crew. It feels shitty to find a deeply traumatized character's behavior "annoying," but...I mean. I say this as someone who's experienced suicide ideation myself: Ed isn't real, and I'm not Ed's friend, and so I don't really feel obligated to extend patience and understanding to a fictional construct when that construct spends 90% of his screen time behaving like a stuck up, self-obsessed, capricious, whiny, murderous asshole.

Add season-two-Stede to the mix and CHRIST...Stede—like Ed—was always a dick, but the way he encouraged Lucius to divulge his trauma only to react with cartoonish disgust, cower like a cornered animal, and then flee while begging Lucius to be quiet...

Then Stede decides to veto the crew's decision to ban Ed—their abuser—from the ship ("talk it through as a crew" my ass)...? Oh, and gotta love how Stede-"I've been the cause of death. It changes you"-Bonnet sets a guy on fucking fire and laughs, then kills a bunch of English soldiers with nary a backward glance. Okay. Would've loved some kind of exploration re: that major heel turn, but fine. And then Ed and Stede stand over Izzy's grave—the (mutilated) body of their dear friend and crewmate—and their combined eulogy amounts to "He was tense. Very tense." "Yeah, he was a fucking nightmare. What a guy." How endearing. Season two turned these two bastards (affectionate) into bastards (derogatory) for me and I'm still salty about it. God DAMMIT.

[cinnamonbear22]

oblivious love (c.s x reader)

chapter 3

go read the first two parts :)

tw

fem!reader, substance use, underaged, suggestive, fluff, slight harassment

"what if you did these pants with this shirt?" i held up one of the several pairs of pants scattered across matt's bed, as well as a button down i took from his closet. "i think that's the best option"

"yeah, it looks good" he approved finally after showing him at least twenty different outfit combinations he could do.

"finally" i set down the clothes he wanted to wear away from all the other clothing on the bed, and started to put away the other options.

"thank you" he got up from his bed and started to help me put away the array of clothing.

"you're welcome" i smiled up at him while hanging his button up shirts. "if i took a nap would you make sure im up?"

"for sure" he nodded as we finally got the last bit of clothing neatly set away. "you're tired? didn't you just go out to eat?"

"that's why i'm so tired" i rubbed my exposed belly gently, which caused him to laugh a little.

"(y/n)!" nicks voice boomed from downstairs. "where are you?"

i turned back and looked at matt, who looked slightly annoyed. "does he have to be so loud all the time?"

"of course" i smiled and started to head towards the door. "i'm going to watch t.v. if you wanna join me?"

"i will in a bit" he ran his fingers through his hair. "i better shower"

"ill see you down there" i closed matt's door behind me and walked down the steps, looking for nick. he was in the living room on his laptop, the t.v. had a basketball game on while he was typing away. "you're watching the game?" i asked him as i sat down closely to him on the couch.

"no, it was left on from someone earlier" he looked over at me while he had a blanket draped across his back.

"what are you doing?" i reached over and grabbed another blanket, quickly cuddling up in it and leaned against nick.

"editing this stupid video" his eyes focused on the screen which displayed the three of them in matt's car. "you can change the channel, i'm not watching this" he handed me the remote as i watched him cut down clips. once i changed the station and got more comfortable on the couch, i tried my hardest to stay awake.

nick ended up putting his laptop to the side saying he needed a break, and together we both watched a silly reality t.v. show. we'd make comments here and there and laugh, but my eyes were fighting terribly. eventually i gave in, resting my eyes peacefully and letting myself sleep.

~

"both of you need to get up!" matt's voice frightened my peaceful slumber, as well as a shake on the arm. "i've been trying for like.." he paused as i brought my hands up to my eyes and rubbed them slightly. "ten minutes"

"alright, alright" nicks voice next to me grumbled irritatedly. now that i was fully awake, i realized that me and nick both fell asleep on the couch. my head was still leaned against his side as his feet were propped on the autumn in front of him.

"what time is it?" i sat up and stretched my arms, my senses waking up slowly.

"four thirty-ish" he looked at his phone and sighed. "we're leaving at seven"

"shit..." i threw the blanket off me and quickly stood up in a frenzy.

"you have two and a half hours to get ready" nick got up as well, sort of mocking me that i needed so much time.

"i need all two and a half" i giggled and quickly turned around the couch, heading into my room.

"i'll be in your room in a bit" nick raised his voice as he headed up the steps into his room.

i went to the bathroom and quickly did my skincare before applying the makeup. suddenly i felt like i was in rush, the two and a half hours did not seem like enough time whatsoever.

but i didn't rush my makeup, i took my time with a slightly smokey black eye with a little eyeliner. nick ended up coming to my room halfway through my routine dressed in a white dress shirt with a navy tie that matched perfectly with his pants. he sat on the bathroom sink as we talked back and forth while getting ready.

i decided to leave my hair natural for the event, brushing my fingers through the few knots i had and my face and hair were done after an hour. "what do you think?" i looked over at nick, who was still sitting on the bathroom counter.

"i think you're stunning as always" he looked up from his phone with a little smile, making me smile as well.

"i'm so nervous for some reason" i walked out of the bathroom and went over to the dress that was still draped on the office chair. "i'm not going to know anyone and just be weird and follow you guys everywhere"

"i think you'll recognize some people" nick sat down on the edge of the bed. "you know, you just have to be yourself and everyone you'd talk to is going to love you"

"thank you" i covered my heart and gave him a little hug as he sat limp on the bed. "you're the best"

"i know" he was snarky as he patted my arm in a comforting way. as i changed he covered his eyes like a child, constantly reassuring me that he wasn't peaking, and there's no way he would ever want to. it made me laugh, but once i was changed into the silky black material he helped me tie the back. "god you look amazing!" he screamed and waved his hands with excitement, making me giggle and stare at myself in the mirror.

he stood next to me in the mirror and we both admired ourselves and each other. "we look great" i fixed my hair before slightly posing. nick pulled out his phone with the camera up, so i posed next to him with arm resting on his shoulder and my head tilted. he posted it to his story with the caption, 'my best friend is hotter than urs'

"are you guys almost ready?" chris yelled from what seemed to be the living room.

"yes one second!" nick yelled back as he picked up the black stilettos and handed them to me.

"thank you" i smiled and slid them on my feet, adjusting the straps around my ankles so they'd fit perfect.

i grabbed my phone and lipgloss before following nick out into the main living area where both matt and chris were standing with their backs faced to us on their phones. "everyone hold the applause please, no flash photography" nick announced jokingly while we entered the room, almost as if we were being presented at an award ceremony.

once they turned around, both of their faces had the same exact expression like they were mirrored. both their jaws dropped with joy filled in their eyes and they quickly started throwing compliments at me. "stop my face is going to turn beet red" i held my hands over my cheeks with a big smile. matt was in the outfit i had helped picked out, a black dress shirt with slim khaki-colored dress pants with a popped collar, and black shoes. chris on the other hand clearly got his way, all dressed in black. black dress shirt, black pants, black shoes, and even a black tie.

as we waiting for our uber to arrive, chris and nick wanted us to make a few tik toks all dressed up and of course we did, all of them not really serious at all and us just messing around and showing off our outfits.

matt got a notification that our uber was here, and quickly we headed out towards the door. chris lingered behind me as i trailed behind matt and nick. "i just wanted to seriously let you know you look absolutely gorgeous" he bent down and talked quietly near my ear as we walked into the driveway.

"thank you" i turned my head up and smiled at him, taking notice of his gold jewelry. "you don't wear gold" my finger lightly touched his earring, then his necklace.

"we're really matching now" he smiled and fixed his gold chain, but he quickly held his hand out as we approached the steps.

"you're adorable" i held his hand gently while walking down the cement stairs. matt was already holding the back door for me of the uber. truly, it was princess treatment all around.

i slid into the suv and was a little smooshed in between nick and matt, chris sat in the front and politely was making conversation with the driver. the venue was about twenty to twenty-five minutes away according to the gps, which that gave me plenty of time for my nerves to start shaking up with the amount of overthinking that could be done.

which, unfortunately, that whole car ride was just filled with me thinking about how terrible this night could possibly go. i'm basically just going to be an annoying leech to them because i won't be comfortable with anyone else there. everyone else there, they're all strangers to me. they're probably going to have a ton of people and friends to catch up with, and i'll just be awkwardly there, burdening them.

"what is your issue?" nick tapped my hands that were subconsciously twisting the rings around each of my fingers. "your face is so pale now, you look sick... you're not sick are you?"

"no, no" i quickly felt all the boys eyes on me when nick said that, concern washed over each of their similar faces. "no i'm okay" i waved my hands slightly to try to get all of their attention off of me.

"you're not going to be bothering us at all (y/n)" matt placed his hand on my knee in a consoling way, all of them verbally agreeing with him.

"we literally invited you to come with us, we want you to be with us" chris joined in with the reassurance, and suddenly my nerves were feeling calmer. im not sure how they could always read my mind, but they were always keen to seeing right through me like a translucent sheet. "you've never been a bother to us before, why is now any different?"

"well, i don't know" i shrugged and looked over at nick considering chris's eyes were giving me too much butterflies for right now.

"see, you're overthinking, relax" nick squeezed his hand over both of mine, making me smile a little

"sorry" i sighed and started to nervously fix my hair, trying to get my mind so heavily off the subject.

"don't be, we're going to have so much fun" nicks overall vibes completely lifted me up, his presence to me was completely calming now and i felt so much more relaxed, and now actually excited to go.

after another ten minutes, we slowed down in front of a large club venue where many people were walking in, and loud music was already blasting to where i could hear it inside the car. we all thanked the driver before matt slid out first, holding the door open for me and nick.

my heart started to race a little with seeing the flowing crowd of recognizable people walk in, all seeming to be popular on social media and content creators. there were hardly any windows that could peer into the inside, but it was easy to see the bright flashing multicolored lights spilling out of the doorway as people entered.

i didn't even notice matt and nick walking ahead of me since i was too busy staring at the venue. "you ready?" chris's voice slightly startled my trance, i didn't even realize he was waiting for me.

"yeah" i looked up at him and nodded, the setting sun made him look like he was glowing, and his eyes were accented with the rays. "i still can't believe you got gold jewelry" my fingers reached up and i touched the gold stud earring, my heart racing more from him instead of the crowd.

"what? i had to match" he started to walk now, and i quickly followed next to him. we lost nick and matt within the large sea of people that we were approaching, but we weren't too worried considering we were all going to the same place.

"i feel like there's legit going to be a million people here" i looked around at all the people dressed nicely, thinking of how easy it would be for me to get separated within the crowd.

"it's okay," chris reached down and grabbed my hand before maneuvering through some people to try to get in. "i'm not going to let you out of my sight" he read my mind once again, and i was quick to tighten my grip around his big hand as we were close to the door.

we had to check in with a bouncer since this was a 'private event' even though the whole world seemed to be here. the club was loud, music blasting, people talking, dancing, drinking, everything that would be happening at a club scene was going down before my eyes.

i pulled my hand out of chris's, immediately thinking about the girl he was telling me about. "we probably shouldn't be holding hands" i talked loudly over the music but only so he could hear.

"why not?" he bent down to my level so we could hear each other more clearly.

"that girl you like is here, i don't wanna mess that up" he snaked his arm around my waist and leaned his ear down to me as i spoke, people slightly bumped into us as the scene became more packed by the second.

"you-" chris was cut off by nick and matt, nick quickly linked his arm with mine and yelled down to me.

"lets go get a shot! let's go dance! come on" he dragged me away and i looked behind me at chris who looked a little bit shocked at how quickly i was taken away from him.

"you don't think they'll id?" i held onto nicks arm tightly as we walked through a group, people greeted him from left and right. 

"no, it's an open bar" he shouted back down at me. once we approached the bar nick ordered us both shots, well, he ordered us each two shot's. i wasn't complaining, i did love to party, but the whole process of getting ready, arriving, and warming up the event was always nerve racking to me. we downed both the shots quickly, the strong taste making my face cringe slightly and my sense all the more aware.

as we made our way to the dance floor, nick decided to take me around and introduce me to some of his friends. most of them even recognized me from being in older videos and i was flushed by compliments from everyone he introduced me too. everyone was polite and sweet, and i tried the best i could to be just as respectful. i didn't want my small reputation to get ruined.

"should we take more shots?" nick looked down at me with a devious look in his eyes, and i couldn't say no.

after an hour i completely settled into the party, my confidence was peaking from all the compliments i received from nicks friends, and the alcohol was doing its work, turning me into a complete social butterfly.

i wasn't afraid to talk to anyone, dance, walk around by myself (even though nick was always following), and i didn't even feel insecure when someone would take our photo. i felt like i was on top of the world. although, i hadn't seen matt or chris in awhile and i had felt the urge now to go and hunt them down. i looked around for nick but i seen he was in a small group talking. i didn't want to disturb him.

i started to walk away from the dance floor that i had been living on, feeling a little woozy from all the drinks. not to add the flashing lights making it harder to see. "excuse me!?" i began to tap on random people's shoulders, hoping i would find them sooner. "have you seen a group of triplets?" a tall, messy blonde haired boy turned to face me with a drink in his hand.

"i'm sorry?" he cocked a brow, giving me a small up-down look with his eyes.

"i'm sorry" i threw my hands up in defense. "i'm looking for my friends" i looked over my shoulder and then back at him. "they're like," my words felt all mumbled in my mouth, and i began to heat up and sweat more than i already was. "they all look the exact same!" i stumbled over my words a little as the tall boy just laughed down at me.

"the sturniolo's?" he smirked, his brow still cocked a little with confusion.

"yes!" i nodded quickly, my fingers subconsciously playing with the rings that decorated my fingers. "do you know where they are? i seriously can't find them. chris, matt, where are they?"

"you're their friend that pops up in a few videos yeah? (y/n)?" he ignored my question, but i was a little more surprised at the moment that he had known who i was.

"y-yes" i slurred, nodding my head excitedly. "i can't believe you knew my name, that's really sweet of you"

"would you like to get a drink with me?" he reached down and grabbed my fidgeting hand. as his hand held mine, i had instantly felt negative energy coming off of him.

"no, no, i think i had a little too much" i pulled my hand quickly away from him but he only stepped a little closer. "i really need to find my friends"

"come with me ill help you look" he slightly cocked his head to the side towards the door, reaching down once again and taking ahold of my now clammy hands.

"no, i think i can find them, im sorry to bother you" i quickly turned around but was stopped by him grabbing my wrist and pulling me back towards him.

"c'mon" his eyes were hard as he looked down at me. fear overtook my body as i instantly froze, afraid to move or deny him. he was much, much taller than me, definitely stronger than me. i could get hurt if i didn’t listen to him, but i didn’t want to. i felt stuck.

"i-i-" i tried to sputter out, but my words seemed to be taken right out of my mouth when i had felt someone else's hand gently on my waist.

"is there a problem?" chris's voice and touch had quickly sent a whole wave of relief through my body, the guy instantly dropped my hand once he had seen chris's holding the small of my back.

"no man, she's drunk and really wouldn't get off me" the guy quickly defended himself with a lie, my eyes darted up to chris's. the soft, glowing blue eyes that i had seen earlier had disappeared into an cold, piercing stare at the guy in front of me. "you have to control your girl"

"will do" chris guided my waist away from the guy, and we both quickly started to leave the crowded area.

"chris i wasn't on him" i swallowed hard as a few booths came into my vision, but that was quickly blurred by my watering eyes.

"i know you weren't" he chuckled softly and let me slide into the booth first before he sat down right next to me. "are you okay?" his eyes softened now once we made eye contact, his fingers gently brushed hair away from my face.

"yes, i was just trying to look for you guys and asking people where you were and i just really had an urge to see you" i covered my face with my hands, my emotions spilling out all at once. i felt as if i had a motormouth.

"how much did you drink?" he pulled my hands away from my face so we could look at each other, his eyes were still extremely gentle and calming through the vivid flashing lights.

"i-i don't even know!" i cried softly, but he started to laugh a little. "don't laugh at me" i crossed my arms and side eyed him, now truly feeling embarrassed.

"i'm sorry, i'm not laughing at you i swear" he threw his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him, letting my intoxicated self cry on his shoulder. "don't cry please," he brought his hand up to my face and wiped off the tears with his thumb.

i pulled my head off his shoulder and was about to say something, but i was immediately caught in his eyes. everything seemed to replay in my head, from us being children, teenagers, and us now as young adults. he was always dragging me around, letting me cry on his shoulder, taking care of me. the soft purple light on him made it a little hard for me to see, but i knew exactly what i was looking at. his hand on my cheek wiping away my tears, the safe and comforting feelings i got from him… i was looking at my person.

but i had interrupted my own daydream by pushing his hand away from my face, and i wiped off my own tears. "i don't want that girl to get the wrong impression incase she see's" i swallowed the brick in my throat, taking a deep breath and straightening my posture that was slightly leaning towards him.

"she won't" chris seemed slightly offended when i had pulled away, the same facial expression he had given me earlier today when i dropped his hand. "c'mon, want to meet her?" he started to get up without my answer, so i was inclined to go but the major knots piling up in my stomach did not want me to. i had to act like i was unbothered as we weaved through people, his hand reaching back and grabbing ahold of my wrist so i didn't get lost. we were now near the back of the club, where the bathrooms and mirrors were placed along the walls where only a few people lingered in and out. "okay are you ready?" he asked, turning around to face me and i felt my stomach churn. i was definitely going to vomit now if i didn’t before.

"yep" i nodded, and he looked over his shoulder into the crowd.

"close your eyes i want it to be a surprise" he smiled gently but i couldn't even reciprocate the smile back. i closed my eyes anxiously as my throat began to dry up. in this moment, i wanted to do nothing but run away before i seen her. she was going to be stunning, i already knew it. there was no way i would ever compare to her, and i didn't even know who she was. "okay no peeking" he placed his hands over my already closed eyes, and began to softly push me into a different direction. "okay she's near.." he guided me with him to wherever we were walking, but quickly stopped. "okay, okay... she's right here so be my wingman okay?"

"yes okay just uncover my eyes" the snarky tone accidentally slipped, but i didn't even want to uncover my eyes. my heart raced as i felt his hand come off of my eyes but my eyes were still glued shut. i took a small breath to stabilize myself physically and mentally, and slowly peeled open my eyes.

as my vision came into focus, i was standing right in front of myself. "she's so beautiful yeah?" we stared at each other through the reflection of the mirror, my stomach instantly went empty. but not in a bad way.

"stop messing around" i turned to him and hit his chest, my eyes quickly started to look around the empty area for another girl. "if you're messing around you know it's not funny" i looked at him with angry furrowed brows, shaking my head. "chris you know it's not funny to mess with an intoxicated person"

"(n/n) stop" he was still smiling with a blush spread across his face. "i'm serious" he pursed his lips together as he stared sternly down at me. "you are the girl at the party that i am so crazy about but i am so scared of what you are going to say" his face stayed affectionate and serious but his body language was extremely timid. my heart was pounding, pounding louder than my head and the music blaring around us.

it was hard for me to speak. every ounce of knowledge i had was completely gone and my mind only was consuming the words that had just been said to me. my face was quick to change from the angry, confused, tensed muscles and completely softened. my senses were somewhat coming back to me. "you're not lying?" my tone of voice changed as my eyes peered directly into his. i felt like i couldn't even move or breathe.

"no" he swallowed hard, stepping back a little. "you're not giving me a positive response" he scratched the back of his head and looked down at the floor. i've never seen him so shy... "i know that me admitting this could ruin everything between us, everything between my brothers, but i just couldn't hold it back anymore" his eyes looked at me through his lashes but quickly back down at the floor.

confidence and boldness strung along heavy through my veins now, my whole entire heart feeling like it's been lifting up to the sky. "chris" i reached for his hand and pulled him near me so he could hear me better over the loud music. "did i not make it completely obvious?" i began to laugh at myself a little, his face quickly lifting up with a smile. "chris you have no idea" my hands then reached up and cupped his face which was now smiling widely. "oh my god…" i sighed with relief, quickly pulling him down to me and hugging his neck tightly. "you have no idea how much i adore you and how completed i feel when you're with me" he pulled away from me and i rested my hands on his chest gently. "and how much i think of you and want you and need you and how special and handsome and-" i cut myself off from rambling, the words spewing right out of my mouth as he looked down at me with the most pure eyes. "i've always felt so connected with you in a way that i've never felt with anyone else, and i don't think i will ever feel this with another soul"

"i'm sorry i told you in a blaring club. it's not as romantic" he bent down to my ear, slightly snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me in closer to him.

"you could've told me this in a landfill and i would still be just as thrilled" i couldn't help but wrap my arms around him again, hugging him closely to me. "thank you for telling me" i quickly kissed his cheek before resting my head back on his shoulder, enjoying his embrace.

"thank you for not turning me down" he rubbed small circles on my back, but i quickly pulled away knowing i would get too comfortable and just want to be cuddled up with him.

"everyone is going to get suspicious" i smiled up at him, which his face was still pink with now a lipstick kiss stained on his cheek. "oh im sorry," i covered my mouth as i began to laugh a little.

"what? what?" he started to frantically fix his hair, wipe his face, and adjust his chain.

"no, no you look fine it's just i accidentally left a lipstick stain on your cheek" i reached my hand up to wipe it but he pulled his head away.

"no, keep it" he stood proudly now, making me extremely worked up. "let them be suspicious" he said boldly, making my cheeks heat up. he placed his hand on my waist before guiding us out into the more open areas with still the mass floods of people swarmed everywhere.

the next few hours were spent on the dance floor with chris, drinking a lot, and just letting ourselves loose almost as if we were celebrating. it felt like no one else was in the room with us as we danced together, laughing, being slightly intimate, and it was great not having to rethink about my actions since i had gotten the confirmation. his hands would rest upon my hips as i swayed to the music, alcohol was extremely pungent in our breaths whenever we'd speak to each other, but it just enhanced the moment even more.

we took many photos together, from people with professional cameras to spending about fifteen minutes in the photo booth giggling and posing, everything just felt perfect.

third person

"we should probably go find them" nick looked over at matt who was sitting near him on a stool. "our uber is going to be here soon right?"

"yeah, it's going to be hell though looking for them through this" matt narrowed his eyes towards nick, nicks stomach dropping at the look in his eyes. "you didn't let her drink did you?" matt asked with heavy concern, nicks face almost going pale.

"i didn't let her she did on her own" nick lied, slightly afraid of his brother.

"great" matt stood up from the stool and rubbed his mouth, quickly scanning his eyes through the room for any sight of chris and (y/n). "she's with chris though right?" matt asked for slight reassurance, which nick nodded feverishly. "the ubers close let's get them" and they both started to venture through the club.

it wasn't hard to find them, because they were back on the dance floor together and it was as if they were the center of attention. "oh my god" nick mumbled and covered his mouth out of embarrassment. chris and (y/n) were both dancing in a non-embarrassing way, but the way they were slightly touchy with each other almost sent nick through the roof. "did he tell her?" nick gasped next to matt as they both watched.

"yeah he said he was going to tonight" matt couldn't help but to smile at the two. both nick and matt knew that they deserved each other, and finally, it was out.

"well, he shouldn't be doing that here! that's going to get on the media so quick with all these people!" nick slightly panicked and rushed onto the floor, matt following closely behind him. "hey, guys we gotta go" nick spoke quickly, grabbing both (y/n) and chris by their arms and trying to drag them out.

"oh come on, we just got here nick" (y/n) was very drunk, and it had been known once nick got a whiff of her breath and she could barley even stand when he dragged them.

"our uber is going to be here soon, we have to go" nick got stern with the two of them, but each of them refused to go with him and planted their feet as if they were rooted to the ground.

"c'mon just a little longer" chris pleaded, his neck tie hung loose around his neck with his collar open now, looking a bit disheveled from when he first arrived.

"don't tell me you're drunk too" nick rubbed his eyes in a stressful manner, looking over at matt for backup.

"i don't want to go yet" (y/n) crossed her arms like a child and began to step back into the dance floor, but quickly nick grabbed her hand and yanked her back.

"alright," nick tried to drag his friend along once again, but she didn't move. "fine" he let go of her hand and in a few swift movements, she was being thrown over his shoulder and carried out.

"hey!" she giggled loudly and slapped his back as his arm securely held her waist, his other arm dragging chris along. "nicolas!" she cried out, laughing with every single step he took.

"can you take him please" nick handed his brother to matt, and they were quick to move towards the exit. a few photos were being taken of the group causing nick got extreme second hand embarrassment for his intoxicated best friend, hoping she wouldn't remember because he knew how embarrassed she would be.

"nick!" she was consumed with laughter as he irritatedly pushed open the door, the fresh, brisk air nipped at her bare skin as the wind gently blew her hair.

"you are acting crazy!" nick grabbed her waist with both of his hands and set her down gently on the concrete sidewalk. "sober up or you're gonna get in trouble!" nick scolded her quietly through his teeth, almost as if he were parenting her.

"shut up" she crossed her arms with an overly dramatic eye roll, leaving nick in absolute shock.

"you did not just talk back to me" he now jokingly shot back at her, biting his knuckles with raised brows. "please get back over here" he snagged her hand as she started to slightly wonder off away from them.

"where is chris?" (y/n)'s eyes grew extremely sad, her whole entire face now dropping as her lips turned into a frown. "where is he?" she was so unaware of her surroundings, she couldn't even comprehend he was right behind her, standing closer to matt.

"right here, dumbass" nick grabbed her shoulders and spun her around to face the other brothers who was standing behind them.

"don't call me that" (y/n) frowned up towards nick, but was quick to start staring at chris. they locked eyes with each other, trying their best not to smile and giggle with just a gaze. she slowly began to walk towards him and he opened his arms, welcoming her without hesitation.

"you cannot be serious" nick blankly stared at the two, shaking his head with annoyance. "god stop p.d.a. is fucking killing me" he raised his voice with sass, making chris and matt chuckle a little. but (y/n) was just so unaware of her surroundings when she was held in chris's arms, the only thing thing that filled her ear was his heart and muffled voice, as well as the rhythmic pattern of his breathing.

"will we be home soon?" she asked into his chest with worry laced through her voice, which immediately perked all of their senses.

"what's wrong?" matt bent down to face her as she was nuzzled right up against chris's chest.

"i just really need to lay down" she was completely out of it, not even conscious of what she was saying at this point.

"we'll be back soon" matt laughed a little at how drunk she was, and chris was almost about to fall asleep standing up. "i swear they're both nodding off right now" matt placed his hand on chris's back to stabilize him, looking at nick with a bit of concern.

"how great will this be loading them into the car" nick nodded his head at the uber that pulled near to them, matt and nick both engaging with a stressed side eye.

"alright guys here we go" matt pushed chris, who also dragged (y/n) along into the van.

"i'm going to lose my fucking mind" nick rubbed his face while watching his two intoxicated friends slide into the vehicle.

matt sat in between chris and (y/n) in the very back seat, nick stayed in the middle row while both chris and (y/n) were obnoxiously loud. nick kept apologizing to the driver, who said he was quite used to this.

matt reached his arm around (y/n)'s shoulders, seeing that she kept slouching and leaning over to where she couldn't even sit up straight for a second. "get your hands off my girl" chris's words were extremely slurred, almost to the point that matt and nick could barley even make out what he said.

"what?" nick started to laugh back at them, matt now was growing irritated.

"you guys are fucking stupid" matt grumbled, pushing (y/n)'s head back lightly so it wasn't tilting down.

"no we aren't matty b" (y/n) pouted, the car ride quickly making her feel more dizzy than she was before.

"please keep your head up" he held her forehead with his two fingers, both matt and nick exchanging concerning looks.

"don't worry she'll be fine" nick tried waving off matt's worried expression. "it's not her first time around" nick rolled his eyes and looked back at the road. "we are not taking care of them when we get back"

"but nick-" matt's concerned voice was cut off instantly.

"they did this to themselves" nick was clearly agitated, but he didn't actually mean that. he would die for the both of them if he had to.

chapter 4?? ;)

[the-fiction-witch]

Mrs Dawkins P1-P5

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack x Reader

Rating Sweet AF

Series Mrs Dawkins Series

This is A Wattpad Series mostly I will be posting it here of course in chunks but it is much further ahead and having daily chapter's being released there, so if you can't wait the the series is linked ^

I woke to the typical birds singing in the nest, the nest seated on a lofty branch of the tree outside my bedroom window. I had listened to the newly born baby birds since their hatch only a few days after I arrived now they were age, where flight was soon to be thrust upon them. They must leap unknowingly into the extraordinary world and all its devilish Secrets.

I suppose I pitied the poor baby birds, that they would be forced from the nest they have known their entire lives on the will of another, That they are to be forced away with a loving arm and the familiarity that it is best for all, that they must go onward into this heartless world solitary.

But I knew they couldn't remain in their nest eternally. 

The world is about them and the only route left is forward.

I laid in bed, my body knitted and knotted with the cotton sheets of my bed. I listened to the bird's sweet song, as they praised the morning sun. But after a while, I forced myself up as the guilt of being laid in bed only made my stomach sick. 

I forced my body from my bed, pushed back the cotton sheets and carefully set my feet on the cold wooden floor. I stepped across from my bedside to the small bassinet where a large jug, sweet bowl, lavender soap and a fresh towel sat ready and waiting, I poured the water from the jug into the bowl and took the soap, I washed my hands intricately making sure to clean my knuckles raw and in between my fingers intensely. I then used my clean hands to scrub my face until my nose and cheeks were sore, once finished I set my soap back in its dish and dried off on my towel. 

I looked across my room, even if all of it still felt so new to me. My sweet suite on the second floor of our lovely new house with lavender-painted wood pallet walls that lined my room, my bed in the centre graced with cotton and silks, my wardrobe took up most of my room the whole corner lined with shelves filled with dresses, stockings, jewellery and shoes. My large three-pannel mirror against the wall with the ottoman to the edge, the sweet paper screen painted with lavender flowers to block it from the rest of the room. My vanity was laden with objects such as my brushes, perfume bottles and blushes many of which simply sat in their typical places. and My desk in the centre was laden with paper scattered around, pencils, paints, charcoals and all sorts of other such materials littered about. With a few canvases leant against the leg of the desk where I had yet to find a place to put them. 

 I did adore my room, even if I had yet to make it my home since we moved here.

I moved across my room and behind my screen, I slipped off my nightie and left it on the small washing basket. I took my stockings and pulled them up my legs to my thighs, I took my bloomers and pulled them up to my waist buttoning them up tight, I took my underdress and slipped it over my shoulders tugging it down to my ankles, I took a pair of shoes and slipped them on not needing to lace them up. I took my corset still laced from yesterday and clipped it on having to breathe in a little to do the last few up but it meant I didn't need someone to lace my corset for me, I walked down my wardrobe and ran my hand across the rail of dresses. I picked out my green dress with a pattern of branches and birds in the fabric, I pulled it out and slipped it on giving it a good adjustment to let the built-in crinoline sit as it should. I did up the few buttons It needed and fixed myself in the mirror not even bothering to do my hair. 

"Hello, You." I sighed at my reflection adjusting my red ribbon tied in a bow around my neck.

My bedroom door opened, which revealed the governess of the house whom I had known almost my whole life, She was tall, thin, in a pencil-thin corset, a black shapeless dress her hair pinned back slickly, she stood stiff as a board her back in a position I'm sure could balance four heavy books if needed, Her hand still on my door knob. 

"Ma'am! Breakfast is ready." Miss Hardcastle said, but with a sharp uncaring tone almost as if she was ordering me there rather than requesting. 

"Yes, Miss." I nodded, so I left my room and she closed my door and followed behind me to take me down to the dining room. 

I headed down to the dining room, A large room that faced the window with a large wooden table littered with flowers, the yellow walls littered with paintings, and the chandelier hung over the table. My father sat in his usual seat. 

My father was a large man with a head for business, fairly far round and not very tall, in his black suit, red waistcoat and silver pocket watch. He sat there with his large plate loaded with greasy breakfast food. The food loaded almost twice the size of the plate it sat on. 

I sat myself in my usual chair, I adjusted my dress as I spoke up "Good Morning Father," 

"Good Morning My sweet," He cooed, "How did you sleep?"

"Very well thank you," I smiled, 

My breakfast was brought by the kitchen girl, she set the plate down in front of me with two bits of toast, some marmalade, and some cut-up apples, oranges, and other small fruits. 

"Thank you," I smiled to her as she hurried away, I began to eat my breakfast, and I made sure to be slow to make sure it lasted. "What are you going to do today Father?" I asked, 

"Well, I have some meetings in port, I need to talk to the damn warehouse clerks, more meetings, more meetings, then I have some organization for your ball, some paperwork, all boring business things. Not for little girls." He said, 

"So, you'll be going into town today?" 

"I will,"

"Do you think perhaps today I could accompany you?"

"Y/n. You need to stay here my sweet, you're still new to the area, and this place can be dangerous." he explained, "And you have yet to debut. We've been working around the clock for your Ball haven't we Miss Hardcastle?"

"Yes Sir." She nodded,

"We wouldn't want to spoil the reveal of the ball?"

"Please father?" I begged, "I haven't left our house since we arrived, Please Father just for a walk to your meeting that's all I ask."

He glared, a moment the first time he looked up from his breakfast. He stared at me before he looked back down, "What do we think Miss Hardcastle?"

She stiffened herself even more, she glanced at me so I pleaded with her as I gave her my most imploring eyes before she then looked to the ceiling. "She has been very well-behaved, sir. She has done all of her work, and been making good time on her preparations,  I believe taking her to town could only potentially drum more interest in her Ball."

"Alright then." he nodded, "That settles that, You shall accompany me but I will escort you everywhere." He said, "Go on, hat, gloves, and parasol."

"Yes Father" I nodded taking my plate to the side to be cleaned and almost bolted out the door to run and get ready beyond excited! 

I got my jacket on and made sure it covered me well, I slipped on my white gloves, brushed my hair out and put my hat on my head tying it around my chin and adding a hat pin just in case. I made sure I looked as presentable as possible for my first time out, hiding my ribbon and adding a string of pearls atop my dress. 

I scampered to the front door and picked up a parasol that would fit my dress, I headed outside of the house to stand with my father as we waited for the carriage to come around for us.

I was so very excited I hadn't left our house since our arrival, so long on the ship and finally, we were here, I was thrown in a carriage brought here and I hadn't left since. I wanted nothing more than to explore Port Victory, meet new friends, and find little places for tea, cake, and activities as presumably I will be staying here for the rest of my life. 

The carriage pulled up so Father helped me to climb inside, and I took my seat. He climbed in after me and sat across from me. Once the carriage began on its way I couldn't prevent my wide smile almost biting my lip in anticipation to see what this place was like. 

"You are not to say a word."

"Yes, Father."

"You are not to smile either, it's too willing my sweet"

"Yes, Father." 

"You are not to leave my arm, not for a moment." He said, "This place is full of roughians, scoundrels, and vagabonds." 

"Yes, Father." 

Soon enough the carriage stopped and the moment the door opened I wanted to run and see all there was to see but I waited for my father to climb out and then offer me his hand. 

I took it and climbed out holding his arm as a young lady should when being escorted. I put up my parasol hiding myself under it from the aggressive sun. He walked me down the streets and I couldn't help but look at everything all the little shops, the people walking by, the market stalls, the gallows, the sweet little houses, all of it so fascinating. I did as Father asked and stayed silent as I looked at everything I could, he took me to a warehouse by the docks where cargo from ships was kept and stored. He had a meeting or three with various people none of which spoke to me at all. I took note of these men being the first ones I had seen but there was little remarkable about them. 

Once finished the meetings, Father walked me back through town to return to the carriage and head home, I had hoped for more but I was still thrilled. 

I slowed a little as I noticed a man heading our way, he didn't seem to move out of the way politely just heading straight for us until he bumped into us.

"Ohh do forgive me sir-" he said before he pushed through us breaking apart our arms. But as he did I felt this hard tug as my pearl necklace was forcibly grabbed by his dirty hands and ripped off me, it hurt as he broke my clasp and rushed away

"Father my pearls!" I gasped 

"You dirty rotten scoundrel! Thief!" My father yelled as he began to give chase, I picked up the skirt of my dress and hurried after him too "Guards! Thief! Catch that man!" My father yelled but quickly he ran out of breath and stamina, So I simply picked my dress up higher and bolted after the thief as quickly as I could "NOO! Y/n!" Father yelled but I just did my best to keep up with the man, luckily he was aged and sick, so I could keep up with him in a dress and corset. 

The thief turned down an alley but I followed him, seeing him opening a door at the bottom, "Return my necklace immediately!" I demanded as I managed to get close to grab my necklace still in his hand, we tussled with it back and forth for a few seconds before he backed far enough behind the door to slam it on my hand!

My hand crushed in the door violently, enough to make me scream and hold my hand close as it ached and brunt with pain, my necklace broke in the door sending pearls tumbling to the dusty dirt.

"AHhhhhhhh...." I complained 

"Y/n! My sweet! what did I tell you!" My father snapped as he caught up to me "My god your hand! we must hurry, we must take you to the hospital immediately!" He said as he held me in his arms and ushered me back to the carriage. 

My father rushed me to the hospital in the carriage, As soon as we arrived he ushered me inside and the nurse took us to a small room to wait. I sat on the metal-framed bed in the small wood-lined room, I held my hand to my chest as it throbbed with pain. My father stood in the corner his face a wash with fear.

After a while of waiting, the door opened and I was taken aback a moment, The doctor walked in wearing some dirty brown shoes, a pair of brown trousers with darker brown lines to create almost a faint attempt at plaid, a white shirt with long billowing sleeves that cinched at his wrists, the shirt... an odd grey washed out colour that old white clothes go after time, especially the arms darker and clearly washed more than anything else, He wore an old tattered green tie around his neck tucked into a blue slightly textured waistcoat, done up tightly around his rather thin body, he had a fluffy head of blonde and brown hair most of it pushed over to one side, dark chocolate eyes and a youthful sly smile, that sort of smile young boys get when they've gotten away with something. I had to admit... He was handsome. 

He came in and shut the door and smiled at my father, "If you don't mind waiting outside Sir."

"Yes of course," my father nodded as he quickly left the room. 

And this doctor turned his attention to me. He stopped just in front of me and looked at me from the tip of my toe to the top of my head before he shook himself awake and a smile cracked on his lip, "Forgive me, Dr Dawkins, Miss?"

"Miss Everset." I smiled "I would uhh but-" I began as I showed my hand

"Of course, now let's have a look at that hand." He said and he offered his hand sweetly 

"I shouldn't my father He'll-"

"Miss Everset. I'm a doctor." He reminded

I nodded and offered my hand carefully, 

"Now I need to remove your glove is that alright?"

"Yes Doctor," I nodded

"Lovely, nice and slow." he reassured as he carefully removed my glove and sat it beside me on the bed "Ohhh that is a nasty one." he said "How'd it happen?" he asked as he moved his hands softly and slowly over my own checking my hand for various damage, he was so gentle it barely hurt and his hands were so callus and rough. It almost made me giggle to think that I sat here and for the very first time a man touched my bare skin. 

"I was chasing a thief. He stole my pearls so I gave chase."

"Why didn't your father?"

"He tried. He's not so good at running."

"Because of his eye?"

I was shocked as he said that, looking up at him, my father had a bad eye injury that he gained many years ago it caused him trouble with running, reading and other sight-related things but it was so healed I had never known people who didn't already know about it to notice it let alone mention it, "I uhh Yes, people don't often know that," 

"I'm a doctor, you notice these things." He smiled,

"I suppose so. But yes I gave chase and the thief shut the door on my hand"

"Ohh dear, you poor thing." he cooed "Were they important to you, your pearls?"

"No, no. I just didn't want to lose them."

"I see." he nodded, "Well, good news nothing broken. you are going to have one hell of a bruise down the centre of your palm where the door hit, I will get the nurse to give you some bruise lotion to take home with you, follow the instructions and it should go away in a few days a week at the most. any issues with the bruising or your fingers in two weeks come back and we'll have a more intense look without all the swelling alright?" he explained and I nodded "Good, and as for the pain, Ice cream and hot baths." He winked, 

"I will, thank you doctor uh?" I blushed rather embarrassed I forgot, 

"Dawkins, Dr Dawkins." He smiled,

"Thank you, Dr Dawkins." 

"You're very welcome," He smiled, took my hand and gave it a soft polite kiss which made me blush even more "You're a very brave girl, chasing after a thief." 

"Ohh" I blushed, "Brave or foolish."

"My experience they tend to be the same, have a nice day Miss Everset." 

"You too Dr Dawkins." I smiled, 

He nodded and headed out back to his other hospital work, I took my glove and pulled my hand close to my chest again doing my best to... Breathe. 

I sat in the carriage as it bounced and bumped along back to our home, My hand clutched to my chest still, blush across my cheeks. My father looked at me and chuckled.

"Yes, father?"

"Only once in my life have I seen someone so happy on the way home from a hospital?"

"oh? When?"

"You're mother. When we brought you home." He smiled, "You seem very happy, you haven't stopped smiling since we left the hospital."

"I haven't" I admit, 

"Any particular reason you're so happy?" 

I knew I couldn't tell him the real reason I was smiling, "I'm just happy to have seen town father, Happy I got time out of the house."

"Good, perhaps I'll take you out more often." He smiled, 

"I'd like that very much, father." I smiled,

Soon enough the carriage stopped so Father climbed out and offered his hand, I took it and climbed out as we headed inside the house. Miss Hardcastle was there waiting for me so she took me to my room to swap parts of my outfit back to a more homely way. 

"Did you enjoy the trip, Ma'am?" 

"I did, it was lovely."

"Such a shame about your injury, we shall have to be careful during sewing time." She said,

"Yes, yes... I uhh I don't know, I think all things have a silver lining." 

"And what lining could this have ma'am?" She asked 

"...Well, I got to see the hospital." I smiled trying to hide my truth

"Yes well, we shall begin our day in the music room when you're ready," she said before she left my room 

I found myself unable to stop myself from sitting at my desk and got a fresh piece of parchment, my favourite ink fountain pen and I began to do an ink sketch humming and muttering to myself as I drew the sculpting lines and valleys.

"Dr Dawkins... Ummmm Dr Dawkins" I muttered barely being aware I was doing it kicking my feet back and forth under my chair as I drew, after a good while I stopped my pen and looked at the blue ink sketch of the sweet doctor "Hummmm," I smiled at it but I hid it away and fixed myself before I head to the music room. 

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

So Pigeon Washing Machine Man, Huh?

Sometimes you may have heard me mention a character by the name of Pigeon Washing Machine Man, or Pigeon Man for short. Often I haven’t mentioned very good things, but I haven’t really gone in depth about who that guy is or why he’s so.. despicable. No more! I will now finally share with you the story of Pigeon Man, and the most unsettling nightmare I’ve had in my life.

Okay, first to set the context of the dream. You know those creepy videos that sometimes circle around, a la I Feel Fantastic? A brand new one was making waves in Internet circles. An arts and crafts tutorial, that somehow hid a dark secret inside it, at least that’s how the rumours went. I decided to give it a watch on YouTube: the very first clip at the beginning of the video was of a large, bright yellow claymation slug crawling on what appeared to be an empty bed frame. A cheery voice spoke, “arts and crafts can be a great way to spend your spare time!” That was about the only normal thing I heard in the entire dream. As my eyes were glued to the screen, my perception began to shift…

I was there. In the blink of an eye, without realising how or when, I suddenly found myself in a dimly lit, empty apartment. The main room was without any furniture, and all the windows were covered with thick curtains. No lights were on, only the small amount of natural light available. On the very back, there appeared to be a new room, with several glass doors and windows leading up to it but covered with red curtains like at a theater. On the other side of the hall, a kitchen. And in there was a man! A very average-looking brown-haired pale man in a long-sleeved shirt, he was always smiling and spoke in an overly enthusiastic YouTuber voice. I inferred from context clues that expecting guests over to his house. I had to infer this, as the man himself spoke complete nonsense — he either said phrases with no meaning entirely, or would replace words in otherwise appropriate sentences with incorrect ones. Two things I recall were him talking about pigeon washing machines (there’s the name!) and how the "guests should've died already" when he really meant they should've arrived.

The apartment, as mentioned, mostly consisted of a grey, empty "ballroom" with stairs leading downstairs in the middle, with three rooms connected to it. The bedroom, which was empty save for a single empty bed frame where the gigantic slug crawled, the bathroom with a single bathtub, where the robot "Police" told Pigeon man to clean before guests arrived. Police took the form of a rainbow-coloured screen with a pixelated face that took up my entire field of vision. The kitchen I could not enter. At the edges of my vision I could see people in strange costumes enter and disappear. They would walk in from the doors at the other side of the big room, and vanish into another door. My entire vision was also bombarded with floating colourful balls, strings, and other strange shapes.

Soon enough, guests arrived. All were children, from preschool age to my own age (I was about 17 at the time of the dream), and sometimes their clothes were covered in blood. Pigeon man didn't seem to care at all or mind. Every time I tried to look back the blood was gone, we were all just sort of.. waiting for something. At one point, before guests had arrived at all, I was walking behind Pigeon man, when he suddenly turned around and looked at me in the eyes. I was nervous, so I smiled at him. His response was to smile even wider with his teeth.

Eventually I had had enough of this horrible place where I could never shake off the feeling of dread! Me and some other girls my age decided we'd get the hell out of there. We descended down the ballroom stairs to a very large dark room, similar to an indoor car park. We ran in the cool, dark and empty space towards a light that seemed to be shining from under a door. Freedom was so close... except, recall how this whole thing happened in a video? The video rewinded, and I was back in the house of Pigeon man. Except, this time the staircase was gone. There was nowhere to go now.

I was beginning to panic, and right before my breaking point Pigeon man finally unveiled what he had been preparing the whole time: it was a group of people, all smiling and welcoming us! There were the people in the silly costumes, like animal and muppet costumes, there were my parents, and there seemed to be the parents of the other children, too. He wasn’t evil at all, I could see then, he had just tried to prepare this wonderful party for all of us! Relieved to see our families, me and the other guests rushed over for a happy reunion. I could see myself in third person talking and laughing. This is when a deep-voiced, disembodied narrator piped in. "But what they didn't expect," a high-pitched violin cue got louder, "was death."

Black. Everything went black. And that’s when I woke up.

[justchillandshipit]

I've written about this scene in the comments of various posts, so I hope that I'm not repeating myself too much.

[Context] Buck was still living in Abby's place. Eddie had never been there, but Buck called him asking for help moving Maddie out of Abby's place and he showed up to help.

When Eddie arrives, he can see there aren't any boxes so he asks what's going on, Buck confesses that he lied and that he has someone he wants Eddie to meet. The look on Eddie's face is what sticks with me as he asks, "You didn't set me up, did you?" There is so much in that look. A little bit of annoyance but more dread than anything. Eddie thinks he is in another situation where he's going to have to perform. What makes it worse is that it is his new friend, that he's already feeling some type of attraction to, who is doing it. (It has the same vibe as the scene where he's telling Hen and the others about his Tia setting him up on a date.)

Eddie's fears seem to be confirmed when Buck says, "Trust me. This woman is exactly what you need." Buck leaves the room when the doorbell rings. Carla and Buck have a plucky reunion with Carla's usual pizazz and it's clear Eddie heard the exchange so he follows Buck into the room to see who he is talking to. You can see a little confusion on his face, then relief, and finally curiosity. When Eddie realizes that Buck has arranged a special meeting with Carla to help him with his son, you can see the soft look on Eddie's face, and his smile probably had Buck's little bi-heart beating out of his chest.

I think this is the moment that either Eddie falls in love with Buck or starts the hard fall. Before this, he was attracted whether he admitted it to himself or not, but here is where it gets real.

I found the clip. Give it a watch and see if you see it too.

Don't get me started on Buck's thoughts here, but I do believe this was Buck's way of flirting. Buck wants to help him, but he also wants to please him, and make Eddie like him. It is his subconscious way of trying to get Eddie's attention, and yes it has a similar vibe to the way he asked Tommy to give him a tour of the hangar. (But sweeter and more selfless.)